These Are the Absolute Best Game of Thrones Sex Scenes
When they're not murdering or plotting against one another, the characters on Game of Thrones spend a good portion of their time having sex, as one does in a world without internet. And while some of these scenes range from problematic and disturbing to straight-up horrifying, there's occasionally one or two that are just good old-fashioned depictions of sex between consenting adults who care about each other!
These are the best—and most positive—sex scenes on Game of Thrones:
Who: Daenerys and Daario
What happened: Daenerys commands Daario to remove all his clothing. He promptly obeys.
Who: Robb and Talisa
What happened: Although this rebellious romance is exactly what leads to the Red Wedding and the murders of most of the main cast, Robb and Talisa at least had a good night together before they both died.
Who: Podrick and the prostitutes
What happened: As reward for saving his life, Tyrion hires some prostitutes to deflower dear sweet Pod. This is the scene that began the running joke of Pod's huge trouser lance.
Who: Loras and Renly
What happened: Another couple doomed by a forbidden romance, Loras and Renly at least had one of the few legitimately happy and loving relationships on Game of Thrones before they were eventually murdered.
Who: Tyrion and Shae
What happened: This pattern should be obvious by now: Forbidden love never ends well on Game of Thrones. Before he murdered her for having sex with his father, Tyrion truly loved his secret muse Shae.
Who: Oberyn and Ellaria and a bunch of other people
What happened: Dorne orgies seem fun.
Who: Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen
What happened: All right, I know, I know. It's weird that she's his aunt, but they don't know that. For now, they're just the two most attractive, powerful and eligible single people in all of Westeros. Let them have fun on their sexy boat cruise.
Who: Missandei and Grey Worm
What happened: True love conquers everything, including the very obvious physical limitations of Grey Worm being a eunuch whose penis and testicles had been removed.
Who: Daenerys and Khal Drogo
What happened: Yes, another relationship that ended tragically. And even though it was initially an arranged marriage for political gain, Daenerys did love Khal Drogo. And in this scene she showed Drogo who's the boss in the bedroom (or tent or whatever).
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.