Brands Against Humanity: The Card Game For Every Pissed Off Corporate Slave
Got laid off with nothing but an email? Salty at your toxic corporate culture? Or just pissed off like every millennial at the trappings of late capitalism?
Well, we found the game for you.
Enter Brands Against Humanity, the bitter older sister of Cards Against Humanity. Less dirty but definitely more savage than the OG deck, this unofficial expansion pack was made “for a horrible world.” The creators words, not ours.
Made by Ellie Daghlian and Elisa Czerwenka, the cards came to life after their former company pointed out that “for brands to win, real people had to lose.” Ouch.
Instead of falling into the system that lets that type of thinking flourish, the duo decided to something about it--by calling bullshit.
Here are a few hard truths the white cards point out: “BP spilling 4.9 million barrels of oil in the Gulf of Mexico,” “No bathroom breaks in Amazon warehouses,” “Wal-Mart locking up workers overnight,” and much, much more. Coca-Cola, H&M, and even Nestle’s baby milk get namedropped in the cards.
The hilarious black cards include: “Make ____ Great Again!” “Get rich quick. Try___.” And of course, “We would care about ____, but we already showed solidarity once this year.”
We took a shot at it, and this is our winning combination:
“For her 23rd birthday, Kylie Jenner got a tattoo of DuPont poisoning over 70,000 people by dumping teflon in their drinking water.”
If that wasn’t enough, the cards even come with a Corporate Apology Bingo sheet that will no doubt raise your blood pressure. It includes sarcastic phrases like, “We are deeply sorry for the sales we have lost,” “Thoughts and Prayeres,” and “Let’s keep the apology vague, so we can use it again.”
Brands Against Humanity sarcastically describes its game as “easy activism to reduce the weight on your conscience” by pointing out “awful things that brands really did.”
In short, its target market is for the people who “want to burn it all down.”
But it’s not all rage and corporate bitterness. The game encourages all players to donate to a cause after playing. These causes include Greenpeace, Cancer Research UK, Black Lives Matter, and other funds and organizations battling the ills of the 21st century.
Download the Brands Against Humanity expansion pack here.