Done Tidying Up? Now, Fill Your Home With Marie Kondo-Approved Clutter
In the first week of January, Netflix released Tidying Up With Marie Kondo, which opened the new year with a message that shamed viewers into, well, tidying up. And those who weren’t introduced to it already got acquainted with the KonMari method of decluttering one’s home.
For this, the cleaning and organizing expert likes to follow a flow: (1) clothing, (2) books, (3) paper, (4) Komono or kitchen, bathroom, garage, and miscellaneous; and (5) sentimental objects. It took weeks for some of the families she worked with to clean up their spaces, and just as she magically appears in their homes, the petite Japanese television show host leaves, and all seems well.
Today, a new development has arrived to threaten the progress of one’s clutter-free home and it comes from none other than Marie Kondo herself. The official KonMari website now offers a curated selection of its founder's favorite things. While some of the storage accessories and cleaning materials are practical, many items are either overpriced or entirely nonsensical.
Here are some of the more unusually specific wares available:
Balance Gem Water Bottle
SHOP NOW: Konmari.com, $98
Forget regular methods of hydration for a second and consider this holistic approach. This isn’t just a water bottle—it contains a vial of gemstones that are somehow meant to purify water and are bulked together to “bring mind, body, and spirit into harmony.”
Tuning Fork & Rose Quartz Crystal
SHOP NOW: Konmari.com, $75
We’re beginning to see the pattern with crystals here and this product’s description confirms: “She’s never without a crystal.” The tuning fork, meant to “reset,” is also believed to strengthen the power of the crystals.
Flower Bouquet Tote
SHOP NOW: Konmari.com, $42
Because dare you use wrapping paper or hold a bouquet with your bare hands. Don’t worry, though, it’s sustainable.
SHOP NOW: Konmari,com, $27
Here we have an aromatherapy mist infused with—what else—gemstones! If you’re in need of some enthusiasm, this blend of essential oils and crystals should fix you right up, according to Kondo. It also comes in “Clean Slate,” “Everlasting Love Romance Mist,” and “Lucky Stars Abundance Mist,” for all your different desires.
Laundry Detergent Glass Bottle
SHOP NOW: Konmari.com, $16
Under home goods, unscented laundry detergent in a refillable plastic bottle is listed, but ironically so is a laundry detergent glass bottle with detergent use directions printed on it.
SHOP NOW: Konmari.com, $24
How does this product justify its 24-dollar price? It not only brushes off crumbs and dust, but it was also made from curated tree bark from windmill palm and handcrafted in the Japanese prefecture of Wakayama.
SHOP NOW: konmari.com, $9
You could get your money’s worth for this one because this small bowl also doubles as a flat “handle-free mug.”
Small Bubble Bud Vase
SHOP NOW: konmari.com, $55
If you were looking for a vase that could hold just one or two flowers, today’s your lucky day. It’s worth noting that this was created in an open-air home studio in Los Angeles and inspired by Japanese ceramics.
SHOP NOW: konmari.com, $12
Why use any stick when you could use this pointy stick made from sustainably harvested camellia wood?
Earthsaver Ridged Soap Rest
SHOW NOW: konmari.com, $16
In true Japanese fashion, the design of this soap rest actually serves a thoughtful purpose. Those ridges are meant to keep the soap from slipping, while also providing drainage.