Filipinos are Sharing Their Deepest, Darkest Secrets Online
A thread on the r/Philippines subreddit has garnered over 1,000 comments just over 12 hours since it was posted. U/iwihduhh asked the Filipino Reddit community to share a dark secret and answers came pouring in.
It certainly helps that the platform upholds anonymity because some of the answers are pretty eyebrow-raising and scandalous.
The answers range from amusing and LOL-funny to depressing and heartbreaking.
One of the most upvoted was this: “Mine is I'm fucking glad na the person who molested me when I was a child was dead. I felt like a fake person nung pumunta ako sa burol niya and comforted yung asawa niya (family friend siya). I don't feel any sympathy sa nangyari tbh and sort of reveled na he suffered before he died. I hope he rots in hell, if it exists.”
One said: “sinunog ko yung bakuran ng kapitbahay namin nung bata pa ako tapos isinisi ko sa iba.”
Another response: “When I was grade 5, I sabotage (sic) my school's electric line by turning off the breaker. They never found out who did it...”
Known for being funny and irreverent, some Redditors chose to share somewhat funny incidents that happened to them.
“Kinain ko ung chocolate ng boss ko,” one person said. “Binuksan ko ref sa office nya tapos pasimple kong kinuha. Natakot ako kasi baka nakita ako sa CCTV.”
“Nung high school ako uso yung parang amoy utot na paputok. May defense kasi sa research paper nun and di ready yung group naming,” one user said. “Nagpaputok kami dalawa sa buong room, namove kinabukasan yung defense HAHA.”
He added something after that: “Edit: I'm not proud of it pero nagbest thesis/research paper pa kami after HAHAHA.”
Someone else chimed in: “Nakalunok na ako dati ng jolens. With an ‘s’ yan, ha? Hindi ko alam kung naitae ko na ba siya.” A user replied, “I once tried to break a marble with a hammer because I wanted to get at the pretty swirly stuff in the center. This was how I proved na mas matigas ang marble sa diamond, pero mas matigas ang ulo ko sa marble lol.”
"May nakita akong toothbrush sa lababo ng dorm namin, kala ko wala na may ari kasi naka kalat lang kung saan saan then ginamti ko pang brush ng sole ng sapatos ko then pumunta ako sa sala pra manuod ng tv, maya maya ung ka dorm ko nakita ko na nagtotoothbrush gamit ung toothbrush na ginmit ko para sa sapatos ko lol."
There were many responses involving sex and sexual abuse.
“I’m attracted to creepy behavior like being possessive, controlling, stalker-ish etc.,” said one user. “It makes me feel wanted and loved lmao. I 100% know this is not good and no I haven’t dated red flags but at night, I read trash smutty fics about obsessive, psychopathic men. As long as they’re non-violent I find them hella attractive lmaoo.
Many of the responses warned the OP that she would get tons of NSFW messages. True enough, the user edited her reply to say: “tangina stop DMing me lmfaoo. Hanggang fiction ko lang to gagawin mga teh I don’t want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere or become an abuse victim hahaha.”
Another said: “Nung bata pa kami ng pinsan ko nagki-kiss kami tas hinahawakan nya private part ko.”
"Looked my lola straight in the idea and said I was out doing thesis work when I really flew miles away to fuck a guy. Covered the lie with made-up pictures (i hired an editor) and made friends covered up for me."
“I was SAd (sexually abused) by a neighbor when I was a child. I confessed this to my bf. Then this bf SAd me when I got drunk and can't barely move when we went for an overnight beach trip with friends.”
Some responses dealt with secrets involving the workplace.
“Nagpapapanggap akong walang alam kahit minsan alam ko naman ang ginagawa/gagawin,” said one user.
To this answer, someone replied: “Nag-uunderperform intentionally din ako sa work para maiwasan yung mga palaasang colleague at boss na dadamihan trabaho mo di ka naman iincreasan lol.”
“Dark secret din ba yung pretending may ginagawa sa office pero most of the time nagbbrowse lang sa reddit ang ginagawa, 75% siguro pretending, 25% working, hahaha,” said another.
And still another: “I work more or less for an hour kada 8 hour shift ko ngayong wfh.”
One sad response though was from someone who said he/she works as a nurse.
“Graduating student nurse pa lang ako nung unang namatayan ako ng patient. Sa isang public hospital ito nangyari. May isang lalakeng pasyente na hindi mapakali sa ER. After ko makuhaan ng vital signs at pahigain, hindi pa din sya mapakali. Hindi ko matandaan kung may masakit or nahihirapan sya huminga so tumawag ako ng isang residente. Wala pa yata tulog si Doc or sadyang wala na paki sa mga pasyente so ang sabi nya sa akin hayaan lang. Naiinis nyang sinabi sa akin yun so ako naman akala ko baka nga makulit lang yung pasyente. Tapos hindi napigilan ng pasyente na matae sa salawal nya. Lalong nainis yung doctor kaya nainis na din ako kasi nga ang hassle para sa aming lahat. Yun pala malapit na mamatay yung patient kaya hindi na nya na control ang tae nya at kaya hindi sya mapakali. Hanggang ngayon, 10 years after, dala dala ko yung guilt na hindi ko nabigyan ng tamang nursing care ang patient. Isa din sa mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ko na pinursue ang nursing profession dahil lagi ako affected kung may namamatay na patient. Dumating sa point na hindi ako makatulog sa sobrang anxious ko.”
One told a story about how they got revenge on a co-worker who humiliated them.
“Bago ako mag resign, sinabotahe ko yung account officer na narinig kong binabackstab ako at pinapahiya publicly. Last straw nung sinigawan ako ng ‘mababa ba IQ mo? Pano ka natanggap dito???’ Hindi pa ako marunong mag-isip ng tamang response nun. Kaya pumasok ako nang super aga, dinelete files sa pc niya at tinapon docs ng VIP client. Masaya ako na nag resign kasi nakita ko siyang humahagulgol.”
The user added this edit: “yung docs tinapon ko sa basurahan sa baba ng LRT Taft station pag-uwi na kasi baka mahanap pa sa mga basurahan ng bangko. Tinago ko lang muna sa ilalim ng sofa sa office mismo kasi baka mag bag inspection, nangyari nga. Tapos sinimplehan ko hugutin na lang sa ilalim pero kinabahan ako nung akala ko nag stuck tapos sabay lagay sa backpack.”
It seemed most users just wanted to let things that have been bothering them for a long time off their chests.
“After almost 10 years of being in a healthy relationship, I still cant seem to shake the feeling that my boyfriend’s mother doesnt like me at all, that she only tolerates me. LOL but I never told my bf about this nor am I planning to.”
“I once planned to commit arson by burning my bullies' house down while they weren't there,” said one user. “The amount of hate and anger I got for my bullies was pretty massive. They pretty much made my elementary and Junior High School life like hell. This probably happened when I was just a 7th grader.
“EDIT: Don't ever do heinous crimes just to get "revenge" on your bullies,” the same user said. “It is unethical and you are bound to get arrested if you do so. Always one-up them in your adult life, that would be the best feeling you'd ever experience. Also fuck you B***** and L*** and every single one of you tolerated their behavior. Rot in hell.
“Most of my actions/reactions are fake. They're just learned behavior. Pagnadapa ka hindi ako worried na nasaktan ka. Pero yun ang expected na reaction so I'll act na I'm worried sa nangyari sayo.” Another user replied: “Me too. Pag may makita na baby, dapat sabihin cute kahit hindi naman talaga just not to offend the parents.”
“I find it hard to be happy for my friends' successes. Nalulungkot ako hearing about their achievements and minsan natutuwa pa ako when they talk about their problems. Am I a bad friend or masyado lang insecure? Pinipilit ko naman maging supportive pero mahirap minsan. Engaged si bff? ‘Uyyy finally besh congrats!’ (Meh) Napromote si friend? ‘Naaaaks! Deserve mo yan. Tara celebrate natin yan’ (Taena nman).”
“Unang motor ng erpats ko itinakas namen. Nawalan ng gas tapos iniwan lng namen sa may kanto kunwari naka park. kinabukasan wala na. Akala ni erpats ibang tao nandali. I still feel bad. Kaya ako puro O.T ngayon para makapag labas ng motor tiyaka ko sasabihin sa kanya ung totoo.”
“SUPOT PA AKO,” said one user. “nagpatuli na ako nung 10 y.o. pa ako pero bumalik yung balat after a week. walang nakakaalam kahit parents ko. you guys are the first ones to know congrats! Lol.”
There are many, many more responses. If you’re interested in settling down to read about them, click here.