"If you want to get on in life, get off your arse, because it ain't going to come to you. And if it does come to you and you're not off your arse, then you ain't going to keep it very long."
"You've got to have something to retire to. Something you always wanted to do but your job prevented it."
"If you don't go, you'll never know. I tell that to my kids."
–Robert De Niro
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do, so go explore, dream, discover."
"The perfect bacon sandwich is on white bread, very soft and very thick. Sourdough with a good crust. The bacon is half way to being crispy – and there's lots of it – and enough brown sauce to trickle down your arm. You've not really enjoyed a bacon sandwich unless 10 minutes later you're still licking your wrists."
"Clear communication. Respect. A lot of laughter. And a lot of orgasms. That's what makes a marriage work."
"Never tell your wife she's lousy in bed. She'll go out and get a second opinion."
"That's the way to live – around people who care. It may be a tough ride, but something is going to come out of it."
"Life is not all high emotion. Some of the most interesting things are when it's not highly emotional: little details of relationships and body language."
"Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing."
"It's tremendously important how you get on with the other sex. Your life record on that is incredibly important. You never really think about any of your other achievements."
"You can sulk and be depressed about getting older, but what's worse than another birthday? Not having one."
"If you lose a couple of inches off your stomach, your business down there will look a lot longer."
"Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man--there's your diamond in the rough."
"Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing."
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.