Adam Sandler's Rap Song from His New Stand-Up Special Is ... Actually Good!
"Oh shit, it's fucking lit," I muttered to myself, seconds after smashing that play button on this video of Adam Sandler rapping.
I didn't realize until this morning, because I turned my Sandler push alerts off in 2009, but the Sandman has a new Netflix special called 100% Fresh, and people seem to be digging it. I've yet to watch, but it's currently got a 90 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, which is a big deal for a guy whose average RT score is somewhere around 20 percent.
But back to the rap. I think it's called "Phone, Wallet, Keys," because the narrative begins with Sandler stating they're the only three things he need when he leaves his house. If he's going to a wedding? He needs his phone, wallet, keys. If he's getting a face tattoo? He needs, his phone, wallet, keys. You seem to know the drill (it's just like the three things you carry!), but then, a twist! He's headed to the West Indies, so he needs a passport, too. Now, he needs his phone, his wallet, his keys, AND his passport. But then, when he's up in the air, a lady farts, reminding him he'd like to watch a movie. Now he needs a laptop, too. We're up to five items now, and Sandler's back is hurting.
As Netflix states in its Facebook promotion of the video, which serves as promotion for the special, it's the hottest, most relatable track of 2018 so far. I would argue Migos' "Walk It, Talk It" actually holds this title, because I, too, like to walk around with my chain loose (chain loose).
If nothing else, it's legitimately funny—something I'm happy to say about an Adam Sandler joint. It's been a while.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.