Why Didn't They Just Cut Off Thanos's Arm in 'Avengers: Infinity War'?
So, Avengers: Infinity War was fine. It did all the things an Avengers movie is supposed to do, which is put a bunch of big attractive stars into one movie and have them hit CGI things. And there were a few family-friendly laughs!
But, as is the case with anything Marvel, grown adults are going to have a lot of thoughts about this children's movie! Which is fair, because some of this shit didn't make a whole lot of sense. Here are the biggest questions and plot holes from Avengers: Infinity War:
1| Did Korg die in Thanos’s attack on Thor’s ship? Korg is the only good Avenger. I’m not sure if he’s even an Avenger, but he’s still my favorite. If Korg is dead, I’m not seeing Avengers 4.
2| Did Tessa Thompson die in Thanos’s attack on Thor’s ship? She’s definitely the second-best Avenger.
3| Did they escape together? Does that mean there’s going to be a Korg and Tessa Thompson stand-alone movie? I’m extremely here for that.
4| Should we just pretend like Jeremy Renner and Hawkeye never existed?
5| I’m fine with that, but what happened to his sweet family that we wasted like 20 minutes getting to know in the last movie?
6| Why do all the Avengers need to have such bad facial hair?
7| What happened to Wanda’s accent?
8| Is Scarlett Johansson more attracted to Hulk or Mark Ruffalo?
9| Speaking of the Hulk, has anyone figured out the mystery behind how Hulk’s clothes stay intact between transformations?
10| Who are the three magic people that were bad at getting the Infinity Stones for Thanos?
11| Wait, was one of them really Carrie Coon?
12| Why don’t we have a Carrie Coon origin story and stand-alone movie and action figure and TV show?
13| Why didn’t they just cut off Thanos’s arm while he was asleep?
14| When does Black Widow have time to get her hair dyed?
15| No offense to Black Widow, but she’s human, right? How is she able to compete in physical combat with all these things that are basically gods?
16| Does the appearance of Tobias in the Collector’s room confirm that Arrested Development takes place within the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
17| Is this some sort of prequel to The Leftovers? Does that explain why Carrie Coon is in this one?
18| Is some wizard just going to fix all of this as if nothing happened like in the comics?
19| If everything is fixed like nothing happened, does that mean the deaths unrelated to Thanos’s Leftovers-esque dusting thing are still dead? AKA: Loki and Heimdall and Vision and Gamora?
20| If Captain Marvel is going to take place in the '90s, did Nick Fury send a message back in time, and she’s going to stop all of this from happening and this is going to be a ton of confusing time travel headache shit?
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.