So There's a Danish Kid's Show About a Man With a... Very Long Penis

His name is John Dillermand and he is supremely blessed. 

Of course, there is now a Danish kid’s show about a man with a giant penis. The wackadoodle concept of John Dillermand fits right in with the strange beginnings of 2021, a year in which we’ve already seen, among others, the siege of democracy featuring a walis tambo. 

With its claymation style and its protagonist’s red-striped bathing suit, John Dillermand by Danish publish broadcaster DR feels like a cross of childhood classics, the cartoon Gumby and the book Where’s Waldo?, but spiced up (corrupted?) with the addition of a key point: a very long penis that is also rendered in red-and-white stripes. You won’t miss it.

Thirteen episodes of 20 are up for your, err, viewing pleasure, and we have to say Dillermand is entertaining—a five-minute chuckle that can wash away the bad taste of the first eight days of the year. 

The show summary, as posted on IMDB, reads: “John Dillermand is a middle-aged man with a prehensile penis that can extend to a length of several meters.” And so, we see our guy putting together a birthday party for great granny, and, hey, he drapes his long dong on the roof as, you know, décor. 

Photo by IMDB/ DR.

Other uses for a long schlong are not as innocuous. He uses the mighty sausage to cut a tree with a chainsaw (!) while he rakes leaves and talks on the phone with his hands. Then, there was that one time he morphed his super stick into a boat. John’s dick appears to have the same malleable powers as Mister Fantastic. 

As pointed out by some viewers, one problem with the show is how it is intended for children, but is it really a problem? A statement from the broadcaster, published in Euronews, points out its message of “…daring to stand by oneself and one's mistakes.” John’s hijinks are usually caused by his member and then solved by it, as when he turned his penis into a propeller to help put out a fire it had started.

As well, the broadcaster brings up how the cartoon taps into a child’s curiosity (“the embarrassment and fun”) about the body. “At that age, children are very curious about what not to do, which is the starting point for the whole series,” said DR in the statement.

It boils down to how you perceive the show and, more important, how you explain these things to a youngster. Dillermand might be a good opening to explain to kids how the body works and how long dongs are not the norm.

If you don’t mind cartoon sausages and need a quick chuckle, you can watch John Dillermand here.

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Clifford Olanday
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