Nothing To See Here. Just Keanu Reeves Riding A Horse Through New York City
Hello and good day to you. I'd like to draw your attention to something important: this image of Keanu Reeves, a second Keanu Reeves, a horse, a large bodega, and also this man in seasonally inappropriate boots and jeans.
On the surface, it would appear that this is a scene from John Wick 3 being shot in Brooklyn. The thinking man, however, may recognize this as two Keanus attempting to pre-navigate their future commute when the L train shuts down in 2019—along with the help of a local man who has offered his horse. Or, lastly, a Speed sequel, entitled Speed: Horse Power.
Let's take another look, for journalism. Real Keanu is clearly just trying to manage this horse situation. Fake Keanu looks absolutely flabbergasted. Randall, which is what I've named the man in the front, is just trying to get everyone to where they need to be. And the horse, which I've also named Randall, just wants to live its life.
In reality, this is just a photo from the set of John Wick 3: Parabellum, which is more exciting than the title of John Wick: Chapter 2, but decidedly less interesting than my initial hope of a Flicka reboot entitled John Wick 3: Wicka. While I haven't seen either John Wick films before this one, I did look up what the films were about, and it appears that it's all about a man named John Wick (which, honestly, I should have picked up from context clues), and he has to "fight and kill his way out of New York City." It also stars Anjelica Huston and Halle Berry in a role that doesn't include saving her child, so, I'm sold.
The real gift of the photograph is this majestic horse. Keanu Reeves is giving us that "Oh no! I'm trapped!" face, but the horse is much more measured. Look at his cool horse socks and that triumphant cape. I haven't seen something this captivating in Brooklyn since this fist fight I saw a couple weeks ago over a five dollar bill at an Au Bon Pain near my apartment.
No matter, it's always good to see Keanu out there doing good work on horseback, even if it's not for the Speed sequel we deserve. John Wick 3: Randall's Revenge is due out in theaters some time in 2019.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.