16 Thoughts We Had While Watching Max's Fried Chicken's Latest Commercial

Max's has released a new commercial, one without Piolo Pascual, Coco Martin, and Isabel Oli, and still we're eating it up. Unlike previous advertisment that seem intent on making you tear up, feel guilty, and call your parents, the chicken chain went for the unorthodox, showing a set of partying animals who seem to be quite unaware of their fate. We're not sure how to explain the storyline—only that it's a literal interpretation on how the house that fried chicken built was, well, built. Watch it for yourself.
Happy? Weirded out? Here's a transcript of our thoughts as we went through this four-minuter.
1. If real chickens exist, what does that make Chicken?
2. Is it okay for Chicken to play with rubber ducks?
3. What was wrong with Horse? Horse seems like a fun roommate. He can't be any worse than Deff Leopard.
4. Fish is a belly dancer. Because...sequins = scales?
5. Why is Pig so eager to be slaughtered? No, seriously. Apple? Skewer?
6. Cow is definitely too muscled to be Wagyu.
7. Where is Worcestershire Sauce?
8. What did they serve at the party?
9. Couch Sweet Potato? We know Max's has potato salad, but it isn't in the same level as the kamote fries.
10. Is the Chicken and Banana Ketchup dance move PG or Rated R.
11. Is it considered sexual harassment when Chicken shook his tailfeathers at Fish?
12. We don't know if we should be entertained, flabbergasted, or disturbed.
13. Why?
14. Good-bye Piolo and Coco.
15. Max's has just gone full Marvel. They can show us anything and get away with it. We'd still run to the nearest branch.
16. We could use a plate of fried chicken right about now.
For the real story of Max's, read this: