12 Upcoming Movie Sequels No One Asked For
It's no secret that Hollywood has seemingly abandoned originality and replaced it with constant rehashes of old material—to the point where it feels like we may never see anything new ever again.
Out of the metric ton of sequels on the way, here are 12 that just don't—or rather, don't need to happen.
(Warning: Contains dangerous levels of Harrison Ford.)
Okay, we'll give you a couple of sequels to the biggest film of all time. A fourth movie is pushing its luck given that 2 & 3 haven't even been released. But as for Avatar 5—how much blue Sam Worthington can we really take?
Blade Runner 2049
Blade Runner is a stone-cold classic, and while the rush to bring Harrison Ford back to reprise every one of his classic roles continues, we can't help but wonder how the new film could possibly improve or add to the original's legacy.
Nor has the aggressively orange first trailer helped us decide.
Bill & Ted 3
Times have moved on since 1991's Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Despite the conspiracy theories (yes, theories, plural) claiming that Keanu Reeves is immortal, he is no longer the surfer dude he once was. As for Alex Winter, Cracked cruelly joked that they're "pretty sure" he's dead.
Does anyone really want to see the cute, youthful loveable idiots sliding into uncute, late middle age? The bodacious dudes would be better off staying in the afterlife this time around.
Die Hard: Year One
After A Good Day to Die Hard, it's not controversial to say that the series feels completely played out. Bruce Willis doesn't seem to care anymore, so how are we expected to muster the enthusiasm for some sort of origin-story monstrosity?
Indiana Jones 5
Our working theory is that a witch cursed Harrison Ford to return to all his classic movie roles. Star Wars is one thing, but after the train wreck of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, we'd rather Indy was left to rest in peace.
Escape Plan 2
For a film starring action legends Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the story about a prison designer trying to break out of the inescapable lockup that he created (oh, the irony) should have been far less boring. How much more exciting can a sequel be—one with an even more impenetrable jail, perhaps?—especially when Arnie is yet to sign up?
The Equalizer 2
What was The Equalizer 1?
Daddy's Home 2
We saw the first Daddy's Home and counted a whole one genuine laugh in 96 minutes of rote Will Ferrell and Marky Mark antics. Expect more of the same, with added Mel Gibson.
Now You See Me 3
We're still struggling to get our heads around the unlooked-for second outing for Jesse Eisenberg's magical mavericks—don't make us try to understand why a third film is under way.
Pacific Rim: Uprising
Guillermo del Toro's kaiju movie combined some brief but enjoyable giant robot punch-ups with far too much dour and tedious 'character development'. Success in China has mandated a sequel, but even the addition of the lovely John Boyega can't get us excited.
Top Gun 2
Tony Scott's magnum opus Top Gun is pure distilled '80s, so we can't help but wonder what a 21st-century sequel could possibly offer. Learn from Independence Day's mistakes and just let it go.
Jeepers Creepers 3
It's been 14 years since the previous sequel to the horror movie that completely squandered a compelling first act, and someone has decided that controversial director Victor Salva is needed again. Someone is sorely mistaken.
From: Digital Spy
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.