People Reveal the Weirdest Things Their Partners Have Said or Done During Sex
If you've ever accidentally blurted out something odd during sex then you are certainly not alone, especially when the great swarming mass of Reddit gets involved.
A recent 'Ask Reddit' thread posed the question: "What's the most unexpected/out of the blue thing your partner has ever done during sex?"
And, well, there were certainly interesting answers, ranging from meat-based penis pet names to the most awkward breakup possible.
'My girlfriend is a talker. However, at one point, mid gasping orgasm, "I always assumed I'd have a wide variety of sexual partners but if this is what you do then I don't see it as a high priority!" It was like having sex with an auctioneer.' - thelaw316
'She was drunk and we had just gotten back from a party. She was on top and we were having a really good time when she says "I think we're better apart."'
'I completely froze and asked what she meant. She then explained why we 'work better apart' while riding my completely still and rapidly deflating penis.' - AsksAmazingQuestions
'Old friend with benefits liked to dirty talk (so do I ), but in one of our sessions, he kept referring to his penis as his "pepperoni"'.
"You want a taste of this pepperoni?". No. No, I don't.
'Dried me up like the Sahara desert.' - maebytonight1
'She slapped my ass and said "who's pussy is this?" It was our first time and I wasn't sure if it was hers or mine, so I ignored her. She did it again but this time she pinched my nipples and screamed "Answer me!!!" Having a 50/50 chance I said it was my pussy. Afterwards she says that's right, it's your pussy. Don't forget it. 7 years later, it's STILL my pussy, lol.' - pantyscrambler
'Was once having sex with my SO doggy style and in front of us was a mirror, I waved at her through the mirror and she laughed so hard that she pissed all over my dick and the bed.' - KINSORYA
'I had a guy pour a bottle of water over me during sex because "it's getting too hot". I wasn't impressed because it was my bed that got soaked, but the sex was hot so I continued and later slept in the puddle.' - HoundsofHekate
'I was riding on top of my partner and before he was gonna cum he wanted to pull out so when he finally came I rolled off and he accidentally busted his nut on his forehead. I immediately bursted out into laughter and he shouted "aaaand I fucking lost it!"' - Mari82592
'My first time with her (I had known her for all of two days), she tried to finger my butt hole, bit my dick rather hard, and said to me (as we were having sex) "Pretend like you love me" and "I just want to pretend like someone cares about me."
'Absolutely none of those things were turn ons.' - 71704031808
'She cried once. I didn't know what to do so I just patted her head and said "there, there."' -gianmakho
'So this wasn't me (obviously) but I heard it going down.'
'My roommate and his gf were the type who would always make noise while they were going at it and I was (obviously) never the type to complain. I'd just put on my headphones, turn on Spotify and play some games for a while because awkward conversation would probably kill me both literally and figuratively.'
'One time however, I took my headphones off to go and get something to eat. They're still going at it. Then he makes a single, really loud 'moooooo!!!!'. Like a cow.'
'Everything stops. I can hear her ask 'what the fuck?!' (like any sensible person would) and he immediately stops laughing. Long story short, she left and they didn't speak for about a week.' - Black_Hipster.
The internet: where there's always someone weirder than you.
From: Esquire UK