A Short King Asks: Do Women Really Seek Out Shorter Men on Dating Apps?
The online dating landscape requires us to be as honest as ever before actually knowing—or even talking—to each other. The trick to dating apps these days is to be just vulnerable enough and just mysterious enough to be a decent match. Hence, the things we put up on our profiles: the hobbies we never do, the interests that we've long forgotten, and those phony cool-guy introductions. We add in, of course, too, that really nice photo of us from three years ago that shows our good side.
Among the other things we have to disclose to a potential partner is our height, which is a touchier subject than it should be, especially for men. But yeah, height bias against potential male partners exist. Some of it is just primal or visceral. We just assume that women are looking for someone taller. Maybe its the primitive brain speaking (like how studies show that men are more inclined to choose a partner with wider hips). It shouldn't be a big deal, really, but there's more to that height gap than what the average outsider (six-foot-tall guys and up) thinks.
If we think about it, we really didn't see the short guy dating a taller girl trope in mainstream pop culture. It wasn't something we were taught to aspire. Men also tend to have this provider-bullshit thing where we want to be perceived as a protector-gatherer. Whatever. Some women prefer taller guys the way some men would prefer "thicker" women. There's research from Rice University and the University of North Texas that suggests that the height of a potential partner matters more to women, but that's from 2014, and things, we all know, have changed a lot since then.
Should we really be glad dating sites for short guys exist?
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In most cases, it isn't really a deal-breaker. Sometimes, it's even celebrated. Thanks to the internet's obsession with the short king ideal (shout-out to the Tom Hollands, Daniel Radcliffes, and Don Cheadles of the world), the height difference isn't something to be ashamed of anymore. It's also not as taboo anymore for women to go on a date with a short guy.
Any good "dater," I'd like to believe, shouldn't have a height ideal. Although it really shouldn't matter if they do. But like most things in dating, it's all about preference. The only thing that ruins that is when our insecurities seep in. Dating a taller girl for men (who still haven't reckoned with their visceral neanderthal values), unfortunately, still carries with it its own set of baggage and internalized hatred. How can we sweep them off their feet? Do we really have to be on our tippy toes to kiss them? Are we enough in bed? Are we enough to even date at all? What if I'm not as sexy as those under-five-foot-eight-inch Adam Levine types out there?
As a short guy myself, I'd caution against going down that road. The short king revolution, as they say, has already begun. While we may have arguments against its inclusivity (it's something just for celebrities and rich people), we should be prepared to be comfortable with the idea that some women will never be comfortable with us that way. That's okay.
There's also something to be said about the way we should behave and carry ourselves when we're dating a taller girl. Firstly, be confident about your personality. Be comfortable with yourself. That's pretty simple. Dating is all personality and character, no matter what TikTok beauty influencers may say. Second, don't treat her like a freak show. The occasional joke is fine and all, but just don't make it a thing, thing. If they agree to go out with you, they're not thinking of your height, okay? Stop thinking about it too much. Do not make it weird. Please.
If it bothers you that much, then you can check out dating sites for short guys like Short King Dating and the like. There, you'll find people who literally are in search of their dream short king. I mean, the pool may not be as deep as it is with Tinder or Bumble but it does offer you some solace that someone is looking for a specific height ideal out of the norm. But these dating sites can be limiting for short guys. It can feel patronizing and make you think even less of yourself than you should.
Remember, being a short king isn't something you bestow upon yourself. It's as honorable a title as knighthood, my dudes. Short kings don't let their height get in the way of their personhood. They are their genuine selves and are secure with their self-esteem. These alone should be enough for you to go out there and look for your tall queen.
