I always wanted to be a dad. Even as a teenager, I dreamt about being married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and then having the most adorable, loving, caring, talented children. I would even write down my future children's names in a notebook. Yes, I was a dreamer back then, and I'm glad I was.
All of this came to pass the moment I met my wife, Ayen, in 1998 during the production of Rama at Sita, on which she was the producer and I was one of the actors. Our friendship blossomed into romance, and in 2001 we sealed the deal and got married.
My journey to fatherhood began that same year, when I became an instant father to Mariella, who was 10 at the time. Mariella is Ayen’s daughter from a previous relationship, and I wanted so to make our family whole so I legally adopted her that same year, making her my legitimate daughter.
As Ayen and I were building our careers in entertainment, our second daughter, Angia, was born.
It was also a time of turmoil in my professional life: It was a trying time, and I was full of doubts about my self-worth. I was at a point where I thought about the profession that I loved. But this is when I discovered that there were two things that kept me going: my faith in God, and the love of my family.
My wife and children were my biggest supporters. They kept me pressing on, and inspired me to live my best life, despite the odds. I even remember my wife saying to me, “Whatever is in your hands, God put it there for you to do your best.”
I had the opportunity to make something out of the situation I was in, and found myself wanting to explore other things to see the possibilities outside of entertainment. Blogging was a big thing in 2011, and I remember sitting in front of my computer reading all sorts of blogs. That inspired me me to come up with my own blog, which I called The Happy Man.
Little did I know that this new hobby would open doors for me to enter the world of magazine publishing, working as an editor and publisher for a period of time.
It was a totally different world from show business, and I was learning how to do things as the days went on. Not having a background in journalism may have raised some eyebrows, but what I knew was to write from the heart, and that is exactly what I did.
It was around that time when my third daughter, Sofia, was born. Being a new dad again at the age of 41 was very different from being a dad in my late 20’s to mid 30’s, where I was still trying to find my place in the world. Life actually changed for the better when I turned 40, and fatherhood took on a totally different meaning for me. I wanted to savor every moment I had with my baby. I wanted to be there constantly—from the time she woke up, to the time I would tuck her in to bed after reading bedtime stories, and all those hours in between. I could fill it with time together, and teach her how to read, how to sing, how to dance.
The struggle was real with the schedule I had working as an editor. The deadlines I had to meet and the million things I had to accomplish was no joke. My heart would break every time I had to leave the house, knowing that my baby was growing up without me there. Nearing my 40s made me realize my priorities.
Don’t get me wrong: I enjoyed my job and had a wonderful time meeting all those wonderful people who some have become lifelong friends. But I realized that time is a finite resource, and I simply wanted to be there for my children, and basically own my time.
I also missed being in the performing arts. Theater beckoned, and I would catch myself in tears watching my friends perform—not because of jealousy, but because I missed the thrill of being on stage or on a movie or TV set. I missed being an actor and singer.
