Adam Sandler Was Spotted Playing Pickup Basketball on Long Island in a Pink Polo
If you play pickup basketball for long enough, you have a good chance of a couple of things going down. It's like collecting scout badges. There'll be the game you got hot. There'll be the game you got cold. The time you made a mortal enemy. And the time you met your best friend. At some point, you'll catch an elbow to the face and spend your night getting stitches in the ER. (Maybe that's just me. Nine between the eyebrows, blood on everyone.) And someday—especially if you live in the Greater Long Island area and/or are an LA Fitness member—there will be the game you played with Adam Sandler.
When the Sandman isn't dancing at weddings with Chris Rock's aunt, or recreating Happy Gilmore's run-and-whack swing for the hell of it, the man frequents his local blacktop, shooting pickup hoops with randos. This isn't just a one-off, Uncle Drew-esque PR stunt, either. This is something Sandler does. Often. To give you an idea of how much of a thing this has been over the years: Sandler's fans have legitimately put together mixtapes of his adventures on the court, from an Atlanta LA Fitness to Christopher Morley Park in New York. (Esquire has him as a three-star recruit and the 78th-best point guard out of New York, FYI.) On Monday morning, we had our latest Air Sandler sighting, with an Instagram user catching him diming in Long Island, per the usual. On this great occasion, we'd like to send up what's clearly the most essential part of Sandler's game: The oversized polo.
Listen, it's pretty damn hard walk up to a bunch of strangers and hold your own in a game that demands that you're not an uncoordinated, out-of-shape mess, lest you look like an idiot and everyone stops passing you the ball. Here, you have Sandler walking up to a group of shirtless guys in a ginormous, untucked pink polo that screams, I'm the goddamn Sandman and I'm here to ball on you. Add the baggy gym shorts and high-tops, and you have a guy I would beg not to go man-to-man with. Soon enough—we're calling it—the oversized polo will garner the on-court rep of a new pair of Jordans, and you'll have hoop-dreaming 12-year-olds everywhere hooping in their dads' XXL Lacostes.
Fit aside, can we get this man some better perimeter shooting? If you're familiar with Sandler's game, you know the dude has major court vision and sweet passing skills. You won't find him pulling up too often. In Monday's video, we see Sandler hit a man at the top of the key, who promptly misses the rim entirely. Imagine if you had one chance to make good on a dime from frickin' Howard Ratner and you bricked it.
Sandman, we've got you: Meet us at the Clinton Park courts next time you're in Manhattan. Name the time. We'll be the Pippen to your MJ. With the polos to match.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.