Black trainers are good because they don't get all scuffed up like white trainers do, those fragile cowards. They also look very sleek and sporty and will match up splendidly with that new Berlin Techno King look that you were thinking of pivoting to. White trainers won't get you into Berghain, sir.
If you're looking for a life less colorful (but much cooler, which is all that matters), we've got you covered. Here are the best blacked out trainers for you to buy right now.
1| Asics Gel Kayano 5 OG
These are the Asics Gel Kayano 5 OG. They are like the trainers your dad used to wear to the gym(as if!)/take the garbage out, but fully blacked out. Asics are having a big MOMENT this year, thanks in part to trainers like these. endclothing.com
2| Prada Cloudbust
Pretty sure that ASAP Rocky wore these on stage at least twice, which is reason enough really. Plus, they're Prada. Come on, imagine owning some Prada trainers? Very cool. mrporter.com
3| Acne
Did you know that Acne stands for 'Ambition to create novel expressions'? Woah. Mind blown. You're welcome. These are the Rockaway trainers, they will make you look like you own a design firm in Stockholm that spends a lot of time working on fonts. mrporter.com
4| Nike Zoom Vomero 5
Technically these monochrome bad boys aren't black, they're 'anthracite and wolf gray.' But those are made up colors, Nike, aren't they? Fair enough, you're Nike, you can make up colors if you want. mrporter.com
5| Gucci Ace
Walk into the room and look like you own the god damn place with the Gucci Ace sneakers in BLACK! Also very good in white. mrporter.com
6| Stepney Workers Club Dellow
A recent addition to the heavily saturated Black Trainer Scene, Stepney Workers Club is based in East London (cool) and make only ONE style of trainer, the Dellow (also cool). They are the perfect blend of skate and tennis shoe with a chunky sole. Ideal for all the 5'9" kings out there. endclothing.com
7| AMI Lucky 9 Running
A very good brand that does all sorts of wonderful, irreverent clothes that straddle that fine line between 'accessible' and 'luxury,' AMI has also designed a great pair of black trainers. A bit sporty, a bit hiker-y, a bit chunk-y. amiparis.com
8| Adidas Handball Spezial
The Adidas Handall Spezial was first made for elite handball players in 1979, surely the halcyon days of the noble sport. Also good for non-handball activities like posing, ambling, joshing, jiving, and gerrymandering. endclothing.com
9| Salomon XT-6 LT
Truly a trainer for the people; Salomon is beloved by Austrian ski instructors and Central Saint Martins kids with bowl cuts, plus everyone in between. They encapsulate lots of trends that have been hot recently: outdoorwear, technical fabrics, functionality, French stuff, and BLACK on BLACK. They shouldn't work, but they do, and we like them a lot. brownsfashion.com
10| Church's Ch873
Cobblers of fine repute (the only cobblers we'll deal with), Church's has gone and made a Signature Trainer that is hip (important) but one that doesn't try too hard to be hype (very important). Bet they're comfortable, too. church-footwear.com
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.
