Watching the Dior x Air Jordan 1 Get Doused With Ketchup Is Peak Sneaker Anxiety

If you were one of the lucky few to score a pair of Dior's long-awaited Jordan 1s this weekend, you're probably champing at the bit to show 'em off to anyone you can. Chances are you already texted every sneaker-adjacent acquaintance in your friend circle (and maybe even your hyperactive younger cousin) and might've uploaded an obligatory fit pic—or a few!—to the 'gram. And now you're seriously considering busting 'em out IRL so all the people moping around outside in their general-release kicks (ha!) can bask in the glow of your come-up.

If, however, like any good sneakerhead worth his weight in slowly yellowing SBs, you've been checking the weather forecast with a frequency that borders on the fanatic, you're in for some bad news, guy (at least here in NYC, where I'm writing this). Because it's supposed to thunderstorm for the next week straight and that sure as hell doesn't bode well for future sneaker-wearing opportunities, especially when the sneakers involved cost upwards of $2,000 to secure. (FYI: There is no more accurate repository of weather-related information than your friendly neighborhood sneakerhead. Forget meteorologists. If you want to know if it's supposed to rain, find a teenager in a weirdly pristine pair of rare sneakers and ask him.)

The Art of Crep Protect Spray, Crep Protect,


If you're eyeing that weather forecast with growing apprehension, don't despair yet—there are steps that you can take (beyond keeping them safely sealed in their box) to help your sneakers stay extra crispy. You've likely already come across some of Crep Protect's wilder marketing stunts (the brand loves dumping stuff like chocolate sauce on extremely hyped sneakers), but clickbait-y schtick aside, the product remains one of the best ways to ensure your sneakers stay protected no matter the circumstances.

And while I still wouldn't recommend doing anything as patently absurd as offloading a metric fuckton of ketchup all over 'em, spraying your sneakers with some sort of protective coating—from Crep Protect or fan favorite Jason Markk—is always a smart play, and that goes double if the sneakers you're spraying are currently selling for just over $20,000 on the secondary market. Stay safe out there, folks.

'Repel' Shoe Protectant Spray, Jason Markk,

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This story originally appeared on Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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Avidan Grossman
Avidan Grossman is the Style eCommerce Editor at Esquire, covering men’s fashion, shoes, grooming, and accessories. He spends way too much time deciding what to wear. Needless to say, his parents still have no idea what he does.
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