God, Who Wore It Best at the Met Gala?

Dear religious readers, does it work this way: Can we ask forgiveness ahead of doing something not good? Like a pre-paid sorry? Because we're going to cast our critical (and very professional) eye on last night's Met Gala, whose tricky theme, Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination, has blessed us with plenty of crazy looks. And it might be funny or sacrilegious? But we still want to enter heaven later. God, are you listening?  

Cardi B As Pregnant Catholic Virgin 

We have to start with Cardi B because she went in. Not only did she show up in a pearl-covered Moschino outfit that can only be described as what you see when you experience a religious hallucination, she wore the insane dress while being about-to-burst pregnant. In an interview with Vogue, the rapper shares that she wanted to look “very Catholic, because I'm Catholic,” and what is more Catholic than being pregnant?   

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Rihanna As Pope

In The September Issue, Candy Pratts Price referred to Anna Wintour as “...like the Pope” of fashion. Rihanna did not get that memo, because she came dressed as a Pope who only wears hand-beaded vestments by Maison Margiela by John Galliano. (For the record, Anna Wintour came as Anna Wintour in Chanel.) This is okay, because she was a co-host of the gala along with Wintour, Donatella Versace, and Amal Clooney. And she is Rihanna.

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Chadwick Boseman As Uncomfortable Bishop

If we're going by theme, Boseman is best dressed. (Clooney steals the show in his black tux otherwise.) But man, T'Challa out of costume needs some T'Challa attitude (or Shuri spirit), because in most of the photos we've seen, he looks a little unsure of what he's wearing. With all the Versace motifs present (bejeweled gold crosses, tassels, gold shoes) and a flawless fit, his fashion facsimile of a religious vestment looks great though. Smile. Or brood better.

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Katy Perry As Angel You Didn't Pray For

This reminds us of that scene in the very important film Mean Girls when Karen Smith went as “a mouse, duh.” Katy is an angel, duh. (Not a chicken, duh.) It's a lot of look, but in a sea of more inventive interpretations, this is just okay.  

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Sza As Religious Confection  

If you want to appear angelic, this is how you do it. The dusty pinks and soft layers of Sza's Versace gown makes us happy. Her celestial halo and golden tears are never overwrought, too. They're just right.  

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Lilly Collins As Goth Nun

At the other end of the spectrum, Collins is either an angsty vampire nun, a sad goth Mary, or, as she describes, Our Lady of Sorrows in blacked-out Givenchy. The bloody red tear drop is bloody genius.  

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Amanda Seyfried As Non-Catholic Deity

Just gonna insert this here because she looks like a Grecian goddess heading to Studio 54.

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Jared Leto As Jeebus

Of course, Gucci. Are we bored of this? No. Last night was the most perfect time to reference the savior by dressing as if life is a neverending maximalist fever dream. It was also the best time to make a statement by arriving as a gilded gang with Gucci creative director Alessandro Michele and a wounded Lana Del Rey. 

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Migos As Religious Triplets

Speaking of sets. This is how you coordinate with your friends without looking matchy-matchy. The Versace jackets are, yes, out of this world, but we are more interested in that diamond chain in the shape of a house. 

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Frances McDormand As Dramatic Parishoner

A lesser creature would have been swallowed by this Valentino gown and Philip Treacy headpiece, but McDormand rose to the challenge, diving into the role of OTT Guest In Big Hat who just wants to have fun.

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Selena Gomez As Confused Parishoner

Selena, remember the time when you sang “The Heart Wants What It Wants” and it was obviously about someone we know? And that time when you sang “Wolves” and it was like you gave up? Are you okay?  

Jaden Smith As Kid Just Passing By

Last year, he stalked the red carpet with his dreadlocks on hand (as a furry purse?). This year, he decided to honor the tradition by lugging around the gold record for his single, “Icon.” Have you heard of this song? And do you also repeat the same gag twice?