It's Time to End the Style Atrocity of the Super-Skinny Jean
To be clear: the skinny jean in its original black guise has a rightful place in the history of men's fashion, the kind championed by Hedi Slimane during his time at Dior Homme, and later at Saint Laurent. The kind worn by tall, skinny, cigarette-rolling types since at way back in the mid aughts.
But, there's an unholy modern mutation of the skinny jean that we need to talk about. One lurking in the back of the provincial nightclub and in the changing room of a thousand branches of whatever gym chain you're most familiar with, being forced on after another massive lift day. Denim sausage casings are covering the waxed quads of a million guys.
We are, of course, talking about the super-skinny (preferably ripped) jean—a trend, if we can call it that.
There's skinny and there's this...
Men have never had so much choice when it comes to trousers and jeans: wide-leg, cropped, high-waisted and, yes, skinny are all being worn by stylish guys near and far. The problem comes when your pants are worn solely for drawing attention to your massive pumped quads. Because honestly, how else can you explain the logic behind these jeans that look bad and feel awful to wear?
No one cares that you go to the gym. But trust us: They are sick and tired of seeing every pumped crevice of your over-worked bottom half. Need proof that this trend is wrecking havoc as we speak?
Take a look at the case of British reality TV show Love Island, showcasing the reluctant progress of men's style in a gray-skied and fearful slab of land bobbing in the North Sea.
Like egregious style crimes before it, the super-skinny jean represents a nadir in mens clothing trends, a cockroach of a fad that seems to cling on just when you thought that its days were numbered. (They even come in white now; white?!) But while the epidemic of square-toed pleather shoes shows men at our most slobbish, the super-skinny jean shows us at our most excruciatingly vain.
This story originally appeared on Esquire UK.
* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.