Supreme Is Making Band-Aids So I Guess I Have to Scrape My Elbow Now
I don't have an ouchie right now, but I will soon. Because soon, Supreme is going to release Band-Aids as part of its spring/summer 2019 collection. Yes, real Band-Aids, made in partnership with Johnson & Johnson and offered in a 20-pack of assorted sizes. (The price, thus far, is unknown. But no matter what it is, you can bet it'll skyrocket on the secondary market.)
The release date is February 21 in-store and February 25 online. So, depending on whether or not I can make it to one of the brand's brick-and-mortar locations or have to deal with buying online and waiting for shipping, I need to acquire a boo-boo somewhere between the afternoon of February 21 and late morning on February 27.
This is not an optional thing. I need a semi-significant owie at some point in the date range. I have to scrape my elbow, or get a hangnail. I need to (non-severely) cut my hand while preparing the avocado toast that prevents me from qualifying for home ownership. I have to bark my shin on my coffee table just enough to draw a trickle of blood, then commit to wearing shorts in NYC in early March.
Because I'll tell you this: Supreme is making Band-Aids. And there is no way I'm gonna be that poseur who slaps a logo-heavy adhesive bandage on my person without an actual cut or scratch or other minor injury beneath it. This brand is about authenticity, goddammit.
Now, real quick, could someone punch me in the face just hard enough to open up a 1cm cut on my left cheek?
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.