Grooming Hacks To Hide A Hangover
Yes, you may like drinking, but it doesn't particularly like you.
Or your face, for that matter. No matter how much you force a smile and a 'how was your weekend, Debra?' come Monday, chances are, your sins are written all over your mug. That's because alcohol triggers the creation of a toxin, acetaldehyde, which dehydrates skin tissue and causes redness. Worse, if you continue to cane the weekend, chances are that sad-looking skin could be harder to shift.
That's not to say you should give up the golden nectar completely. But with a little self-care (and probably one less pint), you can hide your hangover from your line manager. Here's the grooming routine to do it.
1| Hydrate Your Guts
Alcohol is an irritant. That means your bowels the next day may well feel like a ticking time bomb. Still, you needn't only suffer in the bathroom to enjoy the benefits of Dioralyte: sachets of rehydrating goodness that'll replace all the electrolytes you lost along with your mind/dignity/wallet. Down a pint when you resurface, and the potassium surplus should make you look and feel a little better.
2| Reach For Anti-Oxidants
Grooming is no Chemistry A Level (thank God), but it does help to know what goes into your lotions and potions, and what it does to your face.
In addition to your regular grooming routine, opt for emergency creams that contain a truckload of anti-oxidants: soy, caffeine, and green tea. These are just three all-natural examples that'll brighten and rehydrate the skin, so apply generously.
L'Oreal Men Expert Anti-Fatigue Moisturiser
Kiehl's Facial Fuel
3| Circle The Blame
Look a little like Uncle Fester after a stag do? Don't panic. You can reduce those dark rings with one simple tool: the roll-on.
The magical, darkness-dispelling Gandalf's wand of goodness does plenty. First, it stimulates lymphatic drainage: that means getting rid of all the toxins around the eyes. Then, it'll hydrate further to eliminate puffiness and prevent fine lines.
L'Oreal Men Expert Hydra Energetic Roll-On
Clinique Anti-Fatigue Eye Gel
4| Save Your Breath
Alcohol dehydrates the body, which means little saliva production in the Land of Nod and a breath that could kill a small dog. Brushing alone won't solve it.
Reach for some mouthwash (the strong stuff) with plenty of alcohol to eliminate the odor. If it burns, even better. From there, scrub your tongue of all shame: that all-familiar white coating is actual bacteria debris, and it's better out than in.
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, consider your hungover blinkers a queue jump to a disciplinary. Enlist eyedrops like Optrex to return some of last night's sparkle and reduce the redness.
Better yet, hide your eyes behind spectacles if you need them. It's another line of defence to cover-up the general soullessness of a hangover, but remember nobody should be wearing sunglasses indoors.
5| Have A Drink (Not That Kind)
So you're bright-eyed and fuzzy-tailed. That's sadly not enough to get on with the day ahead. Give your insides some attention too, and try to stock up on liquids full of vitamin B and C—these support and replenish your body's enzymes, thus making you feel more alert—and keep your eye out for milk thistle. This Game Of Thrones-sounding draught delivers anti-oxidant-rich silymarin that combats free radicals, and with it, your hangover.
Thankfully, a few labels have devoted themselves to the art of the hangover-curing cocktail. Drink up, and get on with your day.
6| Or Just Ring In Sick
Oh come on, like you weren't thinking about it.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.