What She Wants

The Thriving Thirty-Something's Guide To Singlehood

The Truly Rich Lady's love letter to all the single ladies.

Dear Truly Rich Lady, 

I would like to think of myself as a successful woman. Though not Truly Rich like you, I believe I am rich in other things. Several years ago, I took the big leap and quit my lucrative job as a data analyst to become my own (cake) boss. I opened a little dessert stop and have been doing what I really love, baking and eating, for about five years now.

Because of that, I’ve been able to do many of the things I'd always wanted to do, like traveling around the world (I just came back from Morocco!), picking up a degree in epistemology, and reorganizing my formerly messy shoe closet. Also, despite sugar, I've worked very hard to obtain and then maintain my abs.

But despite all of these—and the company of my wonderful family and a faithful friends—I feel that I still lack one important thing: a man to kiss me and hold me and eat cake with me.

I’ve put off dating for so long because I thought it would be as doable as those other things that I’ve done. But now, the world seems to have taken a turn for the worse. Dating is no longer made up of the pink flowers and sweet letters of tender youth. I will never understand swiping left or right and just succumbing to a state of being ambiguously together. It’s awful. I am also now considered old at 30-something.


I don’t know. I think I’m just feeling this way because it’s Valentine’s Day soon and all my friends are either miserably married but with a husband or in the thick of a sexy romance. I hate them.

I still want to find love in this hopeless world. Truly Rich Lady, is it too late for me?


Yours Sincerely,

Now Looking

Dear Now Looking, 

…You are a fullsome flower that is but a sunrise away from meeting your One True Love.

…He is never too far away. Just a little late.

…Never give up. Be bold and wait.

Those are the sweet nothings that I, the Truly Rich Lady, should be saying to you, but here’s a thought: We should all just cancel Valentine’s Day. It’s a horrible, horrible day for those who don’t have someone to share it with as it makes many people, including you (and maybe me—I am neither confirming or denying this), feel bad about the fabulousness of singlehood.

For you, Looking, here is my personal cheat sheet for how the Truly Rich Lady can find love despite anything. The first step? Running forward as fast as you can.


First, The Truly Rich Lady Skips Valentine’s

Or Christmas or birthdays. Whichever dark occasion sends you into a spiral of sadness you should fast-forward to the next day. Just power through V Day, much like you’d blow through an unlucky run-in with a frenemy. As that orphan Annie says, “The sun will come out tomorrow.” As I always say, “Bye, fools.”

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Next, The Truly Rich Lady Gets Out There

You have achieved many things, including the hardest of feat of all, a set of abs that I am genuinely jealous of. It is clear that once you set your mind to a goal, you become relentless in its pursuit. Unfetter the fears you have about dating in the social media age. Yes, the rules have changed and the dynamics are murkier than ever before, but you know what they say: If you don’t get on that luxury liner, you will get left behind on the dock. Go on a date. Actually, leap into many dates, whether middling or mindblowingly awful. One of those might just be the love of your life.


Also, We Are Unapologetic

While my Truly Rich Father has taught me to be humble, even secretive, about our Truly Rich Richness, my Truly Rich Mother has decreed that I, like one Queen Elizabeth, should always enter the room through the middle of the door. “But, Mama, most doors open from the right side,” I said not understanding. “Then, you are not entering the right door, Si-si,” she replied as she left for her weekly touch-up at the cosmetic doctors.

I never did understand what she meant, until I installed double doors in my home. That way there would always be a middle! Mama is as enigmatic as she is wise.

What I’m trying to say is that you should be proud about your lot in life as a single woman who has chosen to prioritize your career over your heart. You are not single because you pursued your dreams. You are single because, er, I don’t know the circumstances, but just don’t think it is a curse. There are many single women out there like nuns and Opus Dei numeraries who are just fine about their lives, which doesn't necessarily equate to being loveless.



Finally, The Truly Rich Lady Embraces It

Aside from the obvious fact that I am an elegant font of wisdom, I also think you reached out to me because you truly believe in love. That you feel the need for it in your life is a hopeful sign, for the universe knows all hearts and bestows love only to those who still want it. So, my dear, it will never ever be too late to find one.

I, myself, long ago believed that we are all halves looking for our other, and all we need to do to become whole again is to keep ourselves open. You should believe this, too.

And now comes the part where my withered heart should feel a twinge of emotion for your earnestness, except that I am currently binge-watching a gruesome dystopian series that is more exciting. And, if in case this whole love thing doesn’t work out for you, you are welcome to drop by to fast-forward the time.


With Love,

C.C. Coo

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