Why a Fitness Coach Should be a Safe Space

Because it’s common sense and human decency: the world is already challenging enough as it is, and it took a lot of courage, willpower, motivation, and discipline for many gym-goers to start their fitness journeys. Wait, we skipped straight to some of the answers. Let’s backtrack a bit.

This read is not exactly for your average gym-goer. If you’re reading this and you’re someone who either hired a fitness coach or started a gym membership, maybe you’ll nod along, have a “wait, really?” moment, or disagree. Of course, every single person who enters the gym must do their best to create a safe space for everyone else, but that deserves its own article.

This one is for all the fitness coaches out there—the ones who decided to pursue a career helping people move in ways that tailor to their fitness goals and needs. This isn’t to tell you that you’re doing a bad job or that you need to do better. This author likely doesn’t know you, and we all face our own challenges in life, each with our own ways of handling them. This will probably read more like a realization of the responsibilities we inherit once we embrace the role of becoming fitness coaches.

You never truly know your clientele until the people you need to train and assist are already there. Look through the Internet, and there are endless lists of what the stereotypical gym-goer is like. We’ve all probably seen these types listed dozens of times: Your gym bro whose diet consists of protein shakes and creatine. Your newbie member who’s looking puzzled and trying to discover the different kinds of movement he or she can create with the available equipment. The social butterfly who treats the gym like a hangout spot, mingling with everyone who reciprocates their energy. The people who go straight for the treadmill because it is either the only place they feel like they know what to do, or it is their best idea of what cardio is like. The fitness influencer who is always armed with a camera, making sure to document every movement and pose they do. Also armed with a camera are your regular members who just like to document their everyday lives like a digital diary. The bodybuilder who goes for all the hypertrophy and sculpting exercises. The gym tita whose aim is to tone her muscles.

There’s even a different list for those who usually avail of personal training: The athlete getting ready for game day, the newbie who just wants guidance and to see a transformation, the enthusiast who’s aiming for better aesthetics and weight management, the injured clients who are looking to return to their daily activities, and the professionals who are trying to fit their workouts into their busy schedules. And there are likely more that weren’t listed that you’ve encountered at some point in your career.

See, the characteristics above are more stereotypes than accurate representations of what these people are really like. It’s easy to lump people into stereotypes because you don’t really interact with all of them. Especially during rush hour, there are a lot of people in the gym, and they usually just mind their own business. Occasionally, you’re going to see people mingling. But as someone who’s in the gym to work—not necessarily work out—you already know about your responsibility of going around and making sure that everyone is safe. And we know the saying when it comes to first impressions—something about not judging a book by its cover. What if the fitness influencer is just frustrated with the corporate world, and social media is his outlet? What if the seemingly social butterfly just wants to talk to someone, anyone? What if the gym bro drinking the protein shake is trying to get past self-esteem issues? What if the newbie who looks puzzled is finally hitting the gym after months, or even years, of being convinced by a friend or family member? What if the bodybuilder and the gym tita started their fitness journeys when someone around their age suddenly died due to illness, or they had a health scare themselves, and finally dedicated themselves to really hitting the gym?

So there is a high chance that most of the people you see in the gym aren't recognizable beyond a surface level. For clients who avail of personal training, they don’t always fall under just one category. You can have an athlete who’s also a busy professional. You can have a newbie who also happens to be injured. Or an enthusiast who’s also an athlete. The way they receive and understand instructions is also different, likely because of how they’ve been moving for most of their lives or because of an event that happened in the past.

So now we’re refreshed on the obvious: people aren't always what they seem. From here, we can expand on the "why" part. Before we delve into this, I want to get something out of the way, because I understand that this article has probably felt condescending—like someone shouting from a pedestal that, "Of course you should be a safe space, you don't wanna scare them away after they made a big decision in their life." I understand that not every workplace in the fitness industry is the same. Some establishments put higher work pressure on their coaches than others. There are some where the workload is overwhelming, and the pressure to deliver is intense. There are sides of the fitness industry that put a higher priority on certain aspects of running a gym than others. And sometimes—or most of the time—the coaches who work in these establishments don’t necessarily agree with the system being put in place. These nuances in the fitness industry exist, and we should acknowledge that.

What this article really wants to get into comes from the multiple experiences of so many coaches, both in person and from stories shared online from many different parts of the world. I want to try to articulate it in the easiest way for you to imagine yourself in the shoes of the coach, the client, and the member.

We know why someone is in the gym. Whatever stereotype they fall under, almost 100 percent of the time, they are there to work out. Whatever their workout, routine, or goal is, they’re ultimately there to move in an organized manner that we like to define as exercise. And we also know why there is a coach in the gym. Supposedly 100 percent of the time, he or she is there to help people who want to work out. Yes, the coach has to make sure the equipment is working okay, and the gym is well-organized. But the coach’s main duties involve the client or member who walks into the gym, getting ready for their routine. For all the parties involved in the gym, any other reason for being there will always revolve around or stem from the facts of “wants to work out” and “is there to help others work out.”

We’ve established the most basic relationship a coach can have with his or her client and/or gym member. A lot of directions can be taken between the interactions of the two. But when the dynamic starts, it’s almost always two people who don’t really know each other, getting to know each other a bit because they have to interact, trying to get the workout done in the best possible way. Most of the conversation will revolve around the workout. Maybe at some point during that type of conversation, they will pick up on each other’s personality or character traits. Sometimes, either party might ask the other some questions about themselves. But ultimately, at the end of the day, there is a workout that needs to be done. And all parties involved have to get through that workout, especially if there’s another trainee lined up, or if the coach has to stay beyond his or her usual working hours to accommodate the current trainee. Finally, the workout is done, they thank each other for their time, and maybe they’ll do it again in the future.

Sometimes—or actually a lot of the time—this is all a gym-goer can ask for. It really doesn’t need to be complicated beyond that. Likely, the same could be said from the perspective of the coach. You just want to help somebody with their workout; it’s why you signed up for this career in the first place, and that’s it.

So why exactly do we have issues popping up about the need for a gym—and a fitness coach—to be a safe space?

I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that not everyone is the same. Yes, we listed that entering the gym comes with a common goal to be achieved. But how we get to that goal isn’t always similar. You have people who are just more talkative than others. You have people who are quieter. You have your introverts who, when they get comfortable, really start bringing out their interactive side. You have extroverts who never seem to run out of topics and questions to ask and discuss. You have people who just will not talk or respond that much. And we circle back to what was said earlier: you never truly know someone just by looking at them, or even after a few casual interactions. Most of the time, you have no idea what someone is really going through. When you put different people in a room, sometimes you get good results, and sometimes you get bad results. I probably don’t need to list specific scenarios for you to imagine, because you’ve likely seen this type of environment all throughout your life, from your home to your school to your workplace. And this is just the verbal communication part.

Then there is the non-verbal communication. I shudder when I think of this, because it’s supposed to be simple, yet it’s not. Because we don’t really know everyone’s entire backstory, and because we’ve established throughout this article that people are just different from each other. We are all the main characters of our own stories, so sometimes the environment tends to get a little weird. I don’t want to get too specific with examples, because I cannot list them without thinking of very specific instances narrated to me by people I’ve known and instances I’ve witnessed. So I just want to point out—and it probably explains why the article started with the tone that it did—this:

Why have we reached a point where the stereotypical dominant gender in gyms is male? Why do we have women wishing for a fitness space that caters primarily to women? Why do we have members and clients requesting female coaches? What has society done that leads most people who enter the fitness coaching profession to be male? Why, among the stereotypes of fitness coaches, is there a prevailing stereotype that falls under perversion?

There’s no difference in exercise selection between men and women. Our physiological differences mostly factor into how our bodies develop over the course of a workout program. Men have higher testosterone levels, so they tend to build more muscle mass than women. Women are more flexible than men due to having lower muscle mass and wider, flatter hips. But in general, both men and women can build adequate physical abilities with the right training regimen, so no exercise or training regimen is off-limits due to gender or biological sex. This means, in theory, the gym and the fitness industry should be open to everyone, regardless of gender, age, or sex.

As fitness coaches, we probably know this already, and you don’t want to hear this type of lecture from me. So you can either scroll past it, or you can use it on someone who needs to hear it:

People come to us because they need help with their workout. How the dynamic goes is ultimately always up to the person we’re interacting with and us. The longer people spend time together, the more comfortable they tend to become with each other, and that also affects the stories they tell one another. For some people, being in the gym is like therapy. Sometimes, the interaction they have with us as coaches is the most they get to talk about themselves and open up about different things. When it gets to that point, you know they’re comfortable with you. And it’s not always a one-way street. Sometimes, you’re the one who becomes comfortable with the person and starts sharing stories about yourself.

Nobody’s saying we’re not allowed to socialize with them. But ultimately, we should always bring the attention back to their workout, because it’s the main reason they’re there and the main reason you got to know each other in the first place. And hey, maybe if you guys really hit it off and become good friends, you can always hang out outside of the gym. You might even find yourself socializing with a group of your clients or members and forming a really tight bond together. But keep it outside the gym unless no one else in the facility needs your attention.

And yes, I really did my best to save this for last: the elephant in the room that necessitates reminding everyone about the importance of space. If you really find your client or member attractive, please make sure you’re single first. Then ask them out for maybe a cup of coffee, snacks, or whatever. They’re not stupid; they will figure that out really quickly. And if they say no, then no means no; you should respect that and get back to work. The only time you should be physically flirting with someone in the gym is if it’s someone you’re in a relationship or maybe a situationship with, and there’s no one else in the area—unless maybe it’s a close friend you want to tease, but that is on a case-by-case basis.

We have enough studies showing that movement is medicine, and talking about topics of mutual interest—or just about oneself—is also a form of therapy. We get a lot of both in the gym. As fitness coaches, we owe it to the people who entrusted us with their time and journeys to ensure those fitness journeys are adequately guided.

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