Today I Learned: For Filipinos, the Ideal Age to Get Married and Have Kids Is 25

Let’s go through a checklist many Filipinos have likely faced with their nosy relatives at family reunions: Married by 25? First child by 25? Own a house around 30? Well, if you’re over 30, single, child-free, and still renting—don’t panic. You’re not doing life wrong, just differently.

Still, there’s something undeniably fascinating about the concept of an “ideal age” for major life milestones. In fact, the Pew Research Center recently surveyed people across 18 mostly middle-income countries to determine when they believe is the best time to marry, have a child, buy a home, and retire. The answers were startlingly similar. But if you’re in your mid to late 20s, you probably already feel the pressure from your family and relatives creeping in at this point. So, it’s not such a huge surprise, right?

Married and With Kids by Mid-20s

In most surveyed countries, including Bangladesh, India, and the Philippines, people believe that the best age to tie the knot is between 24 and 26. In fact, three-quarters of Bangladeshis think it should happen before 25, while most Filipinos agree that 25 is the right age.

But not everyone agrees. In places like Argentina and Tunisia, about 10 to 16 percent of the surveyed population say there’s no ideal age to get married. A significant percentage in those countries also believe that the ideal age to marry is 35 and older—a whole decade past the typical Filipino timeline.

This perspective, however, is often shaped by gender. According to Pew, “In 14 of 18 countries, women say the best age to get married is slightly earlier in life compared to men.” This is all too familiar for Filipinas, given traditional gender roles and fertility narratives, where women’s ovaries are treated like ticking time bombs.

The data also suggests that it's best to have your first child around 26 years old. Bangladesh again leads the pack with an average ideal age of 23.5, while Tunisia pushes it to nearly 30. The Philippines lands somewhere in the middle, with the ideal age set at 25.2. But in reality, according to the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA), most women have their first child at 24.

Here’s where it gets a bit complicated. While 25 may be biologically sound, the emotional and financial readiness to raise a child can vary significantly. It’s not just about timing—it involves financial stability, emotional and psychological capacity, support systems, and, let’s be honest, how many hours of sleep you’re willing to lose.

The PSA also reports that Filipinas now wait longer between births—from 35 months in 2013 to 47 months by 2022—indicating that even once people start families, the next child might be born almost four years later. Whether it’s for health or financial reasons, people are not as quick to jump the gun when it comes to giving their child a sibling.

Buying a Home by 30

Owning a home by the age of 30 is considered a hallmark of success in many cultures. The global average hovers around 29.5 years old, with countries like Brazil pushing it younger at 24.9, and Ghana much later at 36.3.

In the Philippines, the ideal age aligns with the average at 29.7. Roughly half of adults across the surveyed countries believe it’s ideal to achieve all three life milestones—marriage, children, and homeownership—by the age of 30. It’s a great goal, similar to developing a toned physique, having clear skin, and maintaining stable mental health, but we all know these are easier said than done.

Young professionals like us are more likely to have a carefully curated Spotify playlist and a plant we’re striving to keep alive than to own property deeds. After all, rising property prices, stagnant wages, and an increasingly gig-based economy make it difficult to stick to this so-called blueprint. Plus, it's not uncommon for young adults, even when married, to stay with their parents into their late 20s or 30s—partly due to economic necessity and partly due to cultural norms—further postponing the dream of owning a home.

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Retire by 58—If You Can Afford It

According to the same Pew study, most people across those 18 countries believe the ideal age to retire is in the late 50s, with the global average at about 58 years old. It’s not a bad number—retire before 60, move to a beach town like La Union or Dumaguete (dubbed by Forbes as the 5th best place to retire in the world in 2015), and maybe finally put those smooth yoga and tai chi moves to good use.

In the Philippines, the optional retirement age is 60, while the mandatory retirement age is 65. But some find themselves working even into their 70s, whether by choice or necessity. Unfortunately, the latter scenario seems more likely, as the Social Security System (SSS) reveals that average monthly pensions are at P5,000 to P18,000—far from the average monthly cost of living in Metro Manila. According to Numbeo, this cost is approximately P31,000 per month for a single person, excluding rent. Given that the average life expectancy of Filipinos is 72 years, seniors have roughly only a dozen golden years left to enjoy their pension and savings. This equates to not a lot of money, and not a lot of time.

Retirement, it seems, is not exactly the idyllic picture we often imagine. For the average Filipino, retirement is less about "sipping an ice-cold San Miguel Pale Pilsen while lounging on a beach in Palawan" and more about "finding a less physically demanding and more flexible source of income."

Your Life, Your Timeline

In the United States segment of the Pew study, about one-third to half of the respondents said there is no best age to get married, have a child, or buy a home. It’s a refreshing break for those who find themselves having a countdown meltdown a la Rachel Green from Friends on her 30th birthday.

“I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I’m 35, which gives me five years…So, if I want to have my kid when I’m 35, I don’t have to get pregnant until I’m 34…but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant…I’ll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I’d like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged…which means I need to meet the guy by the time I’m thirty,” Rachel, played by Jennifer Aniston, said, echoing a countdown calculation that plenty of Filipinas are probably familiar with.

While the Pew study offers a fascinating glimpse into what most people aspire to do, it doesn’t necessarily mean this is the blueprint for everyone. Life is less about hitting milestones “on time” and more about achieving them when you’re actually ready. Whether you marry at 25 or 45, or choose to have fur babies instead of children, what matters most is that it’s your choice, your journey, and your version of happiness.