Lifestyle

There's a Lot More New Emojis Than Just the "Tiny Dick" One

There's a drop of blood, briefs, a sloth and so much more.
Comments

You’ve probably already heard the news that new emojis will soon be available later this year. Yeah, as if choosing that perfect image to convey what you really mean over text or Twitter wasn’t hard enough already, at least 230 new ones will soon share space with the rest of the tiny modern versions of hieroglyphics living in your phone. 

But while you were busy snickering at the new pinching hand one (aka tiny penis, yes, it’s real and it’s, er, coming), you may have neglected the 58 others that have been approved by the Unicode Consortium, or the non-profit organization in charge of these things. (The 230 includes variants of all the new ones dropping, including couples of almost every imaginable skin color and gender identity).

So here we present a rundown of some of the new emojis that you might consider using to communicate with family and friends and examples of how to use them. Because, let’s face it, emojis just might be the future of communicating, which means humanity took the trouble of learning a complex system of languages for nothing:

1. Briefs

“Honey, do I really have to go to that thing thing tonight?”

“Yes. And please don’t go commando.”

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

“Yes dear.”

2. Drop of blood 

“So did you get lucky last night?”

“Nah”

“Why?”

“She had issues”

“What do you mean?”

3. Wheelchair

“Dude what happened to my car?! I lent it to you one night and now there’s a huge-ass dent on the side!”

“Sorry man, I got pretty wasted driving home last night.” (sad face emoji)

“You’ll be sorry all right! Say hello to your next set of wheels!”

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

4. Skunk

“Whew, this guy beside me on the FX!”

5. Melting ice cube

“The aircon inside the MRT conked out again!”

6. Ax

“Did you hear about Neil?”

“The guy caught having an affair with his secretary? What happened?”

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

 7. Sloth emoji

“On a scale of one to ten, how fast was the service at that restaurant you went to last night?”

 8. One-piece bathing suit bikini

“My girlfriend has curves in all the right places”

9. Monkey-scratching-his-head

“Honey have you seen my glasses?”

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

 10. Yawning emoji

“How long is this meeting going to take?”

 11. Guide dog emoji 

“My friend’s dog Rufus isn’t just cute, he has an actual job.”

12. Adhesive bandage 

"That guy was practically yelling racial and homophobic slurs at dinner last night until somebody said, 'Cool story bro. Want some mints?'"

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

13.Pinching emoji

“ I sent a dick pic to this girl I met on Tinder last night and this was all she sent before she blocked me.”

Comments
View More Articles About:
About The Author
Esquire Philippines
View Other Articles From Esquire PH
Comments
Latest Feed
 
Share
Consider this a handbook and a cheat sheet courtesy of a cultivated mind and a polished sensibility.
 
Share
The Philippines’ leading carrier is marking its 23rd anniversary with value-for-money group deals and more!
 
Share
The Tutuban to Malolos leg of the PNR North-South Commuter Railway has started construction.
 
Share
 
Share
In the age of likes and swipes, top photographer Tom Epperson presents images that invite conversation and consideration.
 
Share
Brie Larson is said to "shine" as the powerful hero
 
Share
Drawings and paintings made during the artist's most prolific period will be exhibited and be up for sale at Art Fair Philippines.
 
Share
Camo print and shark motif on cleats, gloves, and sleeves.
Load More Articles
Connect With Us