Esquire's Favorite Adult Performers Give 15-Seconds of Advice

Nothing like pornstar wisdom.
IMAGE Esquire

This was originally published in our February 2014 issue. 

While I was expecting a decadent, insane event similar to the Fidelio orgy in Eyes Wide Shut, the very first Sex Awards was surprisingly a chill, low-key gathering. Yes, the red carpet had its fair share of women baring their breasts, and Ron Jeremy was purportedly eating someone out by the lounge, but doesn’t that happen in your standard E.G.O.T. (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) awards anyway?

The Sex Awards is the first ever fan-driven porn industry awards show brought to us by the Adult Video Network. The winners were mostly expected, though I was personally disappointed that the love of my life, Stoya, did not get anything. Her boyfriend James Deen did win Hottest Adult Stud, which he accepted with a five-second speech. Another personal fave, Chanel Preston, who was not only gorgeous but just the sweetest girl ever, won hottest sex scene in her three way with Phoenix Marie and Manuel Ferrara in Evil Anal 16 (leaving us to wonder not only what kind of plot this film had but also what the preceding 15 volumes were about). Best pornstar name goes to Hottest New Girl Bonnie Rotten, who has spiderweb tattoos on her areola (what).

The biggest surprises were the pornstars themselves. Most of them were down-to-earth, friendly, candid and… wise. Who knew that Ron Jeremy had a profound view on building a career, or that Evan Stone knew Tagalog?! We asked some of our favorite adult performers for 15 seconds of advice, and here’s what we got:

CHANEL PRESTON: Wipe from front to back!

RON JEREMY: Don’t stand by the men’s room when guys are walking by. Try to have fun, live a better life, leave the world a better place than when you got here, don’t step on too many toes because the people that you’re gonna meet on the way up are the same ones you’re gonna meet on the way back down.

PUMA SWEDE: There’ll always be people hating on you, so nobody really gives a shit about what the fuck you did. Do whatever the fuck you like, people will still be hating. Who the fuck gives a shit about the haters?

EVAN STONE: Magandang gabi po sa inyo. Kumusta kayo? You wanna fuck girls that are really hot, like really hot porno girls? It’s very very easy. Have a lot of money. Some corporation pays these girls to have sex with me. Get yourself a job, make a lot of money, that’s where you get to have sex.

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