Quail? Npeter? The Hottest Baby Names of 2017 Are Expectedly Ridiculous

For those new parents who comprise part of our great and fair isle's caviar-swaddled high society, a proper name that denotes your spawn's thoroughbred credentials is vital. Logic and bullies be damned!

A bible for the upperclass and those who fetishize it, Tatler magazine has released its take on the poshest names of the year, writing: "If you're having a baby in 2017, we've done the hard work for you and picked out some of the poshest names known to man."

Our favourites include: Quail, Euripides—after the tragic Greek playwright—and Mao... Mao! Although John gets a nod in there.

Shoutout to John.

For boys

• Aubyn
• Barclay
• Cassar
• David
• Euripides
• Fenston
• Gustav
• Hickman
• Innsbruck
• John
• Kenneth
• Ludlow
• Mao
• Npeter (the 'N' is silent)
• Ormerod
• Prince
• Quail
• Ra
• Stourton
• Titus
• Uxorious
• Victory
• Wigbert
• Xman
• Yak
• Zebedee

For Girls

• Alfreda
• Blanche
• Czar-Czar
• Debonaire
• Estonia
• Figgy
• Gethsemane
• Hum
• Idabelle
• Jori
• Koala
• Lark
• Monaveen
• Nancy
• Opal
• Power
• Queenie
• Rara
• Scar
• Tansy
• Una
• Vervain
• Wendy
• Xanthe
• Yellow
• Zenia

Here's to all the future kids hiding their names and inner shame from the world.

This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.

* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.