Sex & Relationships

Quail? Npeter? The Hottest Baby Names of 2017 Are Expectedly Ridiculous

Stop naming your kids Sebastian, Alonso, and Matteo.
IMAGE Esquire
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For those new parents who comprise part of our great and fair isle's caviar-swaddled high society, a proper name that denotes your spawn's thoroughbred credentials is vital. Logic and bullies be damned!

A bible for the upperclass and those who fetishize it, Tatler magazine has released its take on the poshest names of the year, writing: "If you're having a baby in 2017, we've done the hard work for you and picked out some of the poshest names known to man."

Our favourites include: Quail, Euripides—after the tragic Greek playwright—and Mao... Mao! Although John gets a nod in there.

Shoutout to John.

For boys

  • Aubyn
  • Barclay
  • Cassar
  • David
  • Euripides
  • Fenston
  • Gustav
  • Hickman
  • Innsbruck
  • John
  • Kenneth
  • Ludlow
  • Mao
  • Npeter (the 'N' is silent)
  • Ormerod
  • Prince
  • Quail
  • Ra
  • Stourton
  • Titus
  • Uxorious
  • Victory
  • Wigbert
  • Xman
  • Yak
  • Zebedee

For Girls

  • Alfreda
  • Blanche
  • Czar-Czar
  • Debonaire
  • Estonia
  • Figgy
  • Gethsemane
  • Hum
  • Idabelle
  • Jori
  • Koala
  • Lark
  • Monaveen
  • Nancy
  • Opal
  • Power
  • Queenie
  • Rara
  • Scar
  • Tansy
  • Una
  • Vervain
  • Wendy
  • Xanthe
  • Yellow
  • Zenia

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Here's to all the future kids hiding their names and inner shame from the world.

This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.

* Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.

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