What Robert Alejandro Taught Us About Embracing Self-Love

Filipino artist and Papemelroti cofounder, Robert Alejandro, may have gone ahead to meet his Maker, but he left an indelible mark on the hearts of those he helped, inspired, and whose lives he touched along the way.

Apparently, cancer and the Covid pandemic taught him some of the most important life lessons, which he shared with Esquire Philippines when we had the chance to interview him three years ago.

Many of his followers knew him as the bright and jolly Kuya Robert. But before his cancer diagnosis, he faced personal challenges that were lesser-known to those outside his closest circle.

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"The truth is, before I had cancer, I had these dark thoughts," he admitted. "First of all, I was suicidal and depressive because of my being gay. And I was told that I was going to burn in hell. And I believed it. So I thought I was garbage. I was a waste of space."

At that time, he was thriving as a children's book illustrator and a TV host for the kids' art show Art is Kool. "When I draw, when I'm creative, that's where I find joy," he said. But the creative process would often leave him drained. "I would draw and draw, create and create, until I was very tired."

Then the moment he paused, a shadow of sadness would begin to surface. "Art was my savior, but it was not enough," he mused. He highly advised those going through a similar experience to seek help from friends, family, and specialists. "I never got help. Honestly, I believe that's easier said than done, which is very, very sad," he said.

But his outlook in life completely changed when he was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2016 and was hospitalized in December 2020. Surprisingly, cancer didn't scare him at all. "I remember the only thing I was concerned about was where my beautiful collection of children's books would go. It's so crazy," he shared, seemingly amused with himself.

"I was invited to talk about cancer, and everybody was saying, 'You have to do this, you have to do that,'" he recalled. But his perspective was different. "Cancer is a gift for me, because, well, first of all, it changed my outlook. One of the biggest things is that it taught me to love myself."

Alejandro shared a profound insight that encapsulated his transformative journey and determination to live authentically: "I don't want to waste any more time not loving myself...I'm going to love myself. I'm going to love everything about me. I don't care what other people say. If people say I'm going to burn in hell, I'm not going to believe that. I believe God loves me. I will love every bit of myself, all the ugly, yucky parts. I love myself." 

During his active years, Alejandro fully embraced his God-given talents to pursue what he loved most. "I want to teach everything I know. I know a lot. And so I want to teach as much as I can. Give love, shine light..."