Life is a gift. There is a life force stronger than me, stronger than me, powerful. There is a creator out there. Love is an energy so profound, that sometimes we call it God, simply because we can’t fathom or understand the power of love.
This experience has allowed me to let go of a lot of things. I have let go of that sense of control, and I allow 20 percent for play, for chance, for serendipity to happen. And I think that’s when it gets exciting, but you have to allow it to happen.
Every person’s body is different. It reacts to things differently. I don't know what caused the blockage. Some say it's food, or smoking, or drinking, or stress, or an inflammation even. I've always lived a pretty moderate, healthy lifestyle. But now looking back, perhaps the block was caused by my personality being suppressed.
All these years I suppressed everything, expecially the artist in me. I think I suppressed it subconciously because I felt in order to survive, I had to be a businessman. All my life I’ve heard people say, 'Don’t become an artist because there’s no money there. Don’t become an artist because how are you going to support your family?' To be an artist was discounted so easily as something wrong, as opposed to how being a banker is right. I felt I would be judged to use the artistic talent, the gift that I had, the gift that came most naturally to me. I felt I couldn't I couldn’t use it as a resource. It was like I was on icy ground that I couldn’t really stand on.
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Right now I'm my best self ever. I'm attuned with myself physically and spiritually. Back then, I was my worst critic. I judged myself. I was the creative person in the company and they looked to me for creativity, and I churned it out. I felt like a farm animal that had to produce milk upon demand. Whatever we came out with, I felt we had to show the return, the return, the return. As many artists say, not everything you come out with can be measured. As a creative person, I now want to have the freedom to create something out of nothing.
Creativity is in each of us. It’s just very guarded, because once it comes out, you really exchange your vulnerability as currency for it to come to fruition. Some people are very guarded about being creative. In my role now because I’ve been so vulnerable, physically on that operating table, I have allowed things to happen. I am now allowing people to tune in to to their divinity, to allow their creativity to happen, especially the people that I work with in the office. If you were to give me the same amount of money to make a commercial that says, ‘eat this,’ or a commercial that can change the way Philippine advertising is done, by a brand as traditional as ours, then I would put in all my marbles and take that risk.
I think everyone on the board (of Max’s) is understanding about where each of us is and the experience that each of us brings to the table. They’ve always seen me as a creative person, and I think now there’s just a lot of wiggle room to play. I mean there are still very strict things that need to be in place, but I think in understanding the constraints, that’s when you’re able to solve problems in a creative way.
