The 20 Cringiest Quotes of 2016
The mouth operates faster than the brain. This may explain why the foot often ends up inside it. Year after year, people experience the endless struggle to think before speaking—and there are times when they fail miserably.
This year—just like any other year—people said things that we wish they didn't. Their statements range from realizations that they should've kept to themselves, sleazy quips from the Dirty Old Man's playbook, nincompoopish pronouncements, self-centered generalizations, and all other things that are best left unsaid.
So, what are the odds that variations of these statements will once again be uttered in 2017? The answer: Very high—because the mouth, as we pointed out, often trumps the brain.
"I overestimated my worth."
"Inaagaw na ng mga rallyista 'yong sasakyan, kaya napilitan akong kunin ko 'yong sasakyan. Kaya napaatras ko. 'Yon ang nangyari (The rallyists were trying to take the vehicle, so I was forced to take over the vehicle. That was why I drove in reverse. That's what happened)."
"We talk in the same language and I like your mouth, it's like mine. I said, 'Yes, Mr. President. We’re similar.' People with the same feathers flock together."
"There is a time for the indie movies. But not during the Christmas season. Christmas is for the family."
"Hindi droga ang business ko sa Bilibid [kundi] Monterey, taga-deliver ng karne (I'm not involved in the drug trade inside Bilibid. I'm like Monterey: I deliver meat)."
"Kahapon ko lang nakita 'yong video. Magaling 'yong partner, ha (I just saw the video yesterday. The male performer is good). Her partner is quite good."
"Ako napanood ko, pangit 'yong mga performers, eh (I have watched it, the performers were ugly)."
"Palakas nang palakas hanggang Intensity 5. Kailan kayo nag-climax? Intensity 5, anong year (Your love became stronger and stronger until it hit Intensity 5. When did you reach climax? Intensity 5, what year)?"
"Let's try to use our creative imagination."
"We don't take all the President's statements literally, but we take his statements seriously."
"Try mo lang to be Baron Geisler, tingnan ko lang kung kakayanin mo (Just try to be Baron Geisler and see if you can take it)."
"'Yong sa issue ng adultery and concubinage, ang aking patakaran pa rin ay dapat mas mahigpit sa babae kaysa sa lalaki dahil ang babae ang ilaw ng tahanan. Kapag nawasak ang tahanan, nagloko ang babae, wala na. Kapag ang lalaki nagloko, ang babae matatag, siya ang ilaw, buhay pa ang tahanan (For me, when the issue is about adultery and concubinage, it should be stricter on women more than on men. Because women are the light of the home. If the home is destroyed because the woman cheats, it's over. But if the man cheats, the woman remains strong, and since she is the light of the home, the home survives)."
—Public Attorney's Office chief Persida Acosta who was asked to cite the laws which she believes are partial to either sex when she was interviewed by the Judicial and Bar Council in line with her bid to secure a post as Supreme Court associate justice
"'Doon sa nagsabi na parang baliw ako, pwede ba akong may sabihin? Si Einstein po kasi, si Einstein, napagkakamalang baliw. And karamihan ng mga intelligent people ay pinagkakamalang baliw at may pagkabaliw (To the one who said I seem crazy, can I say something? Because Einstein, Einstein was mistakenly called crazy. And a lot of intelligent people are incorrectly called crazy or somewhat crazy)."
"A state of mind adds to the problem of traffic. Let's stop blaming traffic. If you're late, that's that."
"Frailties of a woman."
"Distributing condoms will only condone sexual activity among students."
—Fr. Jerome Secillano—executive secretary of the Catholic Bishops' Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) public affairs committee—on the Department of Health's plan to distribute condoms in schools as part of its strategy to deal with the sharp rise in the number of HIV and AIDS among the youth in the country
"The problem is once you have positioned yourself, you no longer have the bullet train of Japan. People of our age only have the Western train of the cowboys."
"I think this is a great idea for everyone to have, just in case anyone is accused online or by the police."
—Actor Baron Geisler after doing a drug test on himself using a portable kit amid the government's intensified war against drugs
"Sisipain lang po 'yong upuan (We just have to kick the chair)."
"He felt it was a message from God. I've always felt he's a deeply spiritual person. He's not religious, but he believes in God."
—Sen. Alan Peter Cayetano talking about President Rodrigo Duterte's claim of hearing the voice of God while on a plane that supposedly made him vow to stop swearing so much (Duterte later dismissed the story as a joke, referring to those who believed it as "mga buang" or fools.)