Putin Just Gifted His Allies With Rings. Sauron, Is That You?

Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves.

In what was supposed to be a serious gathering of former Soviet country leaders, Vladimir Putin gifted his allies with gold rings to signal their strength and alliance. But all we could think of were Lord of the Rings jokes.

The leaders of the Commonwealth of Independent States, of which Ukraine is excluded, amount to eight ring-bearers, yet Putin kept the ninth ring for himself. And we think we’ve seen this movie before…

“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,” wrote J R. R. Tolkien. “In the Land of Moscow where the Shadows lie."

Oops, we meant Mordor. Of course.

Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov claimed that there’s no deep meaning behind the gifts, calling them a New Year’s souvenir and nothing more. And he might be right, but not in the way you might think. 

There’s an important difference though between this surreal connection. The rings of power granted Sauron unspeakable power, but as it is, Russia’s still floundering to win its war with Ukraine. Political commentator Yulia Latynina called the gifts “rings of powerlessness.” Political scientist Ekaterina Schulmann called it a “fever dream.”

But Ukrainian lawmaker Oleksiy Goncharenko had the best commentary on this absurd situation.

“Putin got tired of being the Hitler of the 21st century and decided to play Lord of the Rings and become a ‘mighty Sauron’”, joked Goncharenko on Twitter.

“After that, can we now officially call the Russian army orcs?”