John Travolta Has Finally Gone Full Bald
Young John Travolta was hot as hell. Fact, not opinion. Tony Manero? Legendary. Danny Zuko? Iconic. Middle-Aged John Travolta? Scientology advocate and generalized Old Hollywood whom I now largely ignore for questionable beliefs and characters irrelevant to my entertainment consumption. But I've been fooled. John Travolta shaved his head and he is hot again.
No like—he's really, honestly, objectively attractive with a bald head. What the hell? He hasn't been hot in years. Who gets hot, and then not hot, and then hot again? Earth's atmosphere and John Travolta, that's who. The Internet is losing its proverbial mind over an Instagram Travolta posted of himself with a freshly shaved head, and with good reason. Observe:
What you're seeing here, my friends, is John Travolta in DILF form. I can honestly say I never thought I'd see the day because I never think about John Travolta at all. I mean, I love a good DILF. They have character. They have depth. They have expertly crafted wrinkles and they own a bed frame. John Travolta bald (and in a tux, a la this photo) looks like he kills bad people who have it coming while sipping an extra dry martini. He looks like the Hot Dad who goes to parent teacher conferences but is too muscular to comfortably fit his quads under a high school-sized desk and he looks super awkward but it's somehow charming.
Better yet, this is a high-level lesson in going bald. Balding sucks. It does. There's no way to tell you it doesn't, and while there are some ways to slow down, disguise, or ignore the balding, it's there all the same. Sometimes, it's better to lean into the problem. Going bald? Go bald! If someone told you yesterday that they thought John Travolta would be hotter if he were bald, would you have believed them? But here he is, today, disproving any thoughts you might have had about Middle-Aged John Travolta. If bald can be hot on John Travolta, alleged benefactor of an alleged cult that allegedly blackmails and intimidates its alleged members, it can be hot on you, too.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.com. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.