Dear Truly Rich Lady: How Do I Find Love if No One Seems Interested in Me?

Do you want to ask our resident TRL a question? E-mail C.C. Coo at [email protected].  

Dear Truly Rich Lady,

My friends describe me as a fine, soft-spoken, and altruistic person. I am in my mid-20s. I prioritize my career and family. I don't smoke or drink. I've had achievements as a student and as a working professional because I always give my best in everything I do. I'm not as beautiful as actresses and models, but I think I am beautiful in my own way.

I am an introvert. I look serious most of the time because I am uncomfortable interacting with large groups. I don't seem fun to be with, but my friends can vouch that I am loyal and caring.

What could be the reason I'm not attracting anyone? If there's anyone who seems interested, they don't display sincerity in their actions. I've known girls my age who jump from one relationship to another. Every Valentine's Day they post pictures of flowers and chocolates they get from admirers.

For many years, [I’ve wondered] why am I not getting any? What is lacking in my personality? I don't desire popularity or attention. I just want to find a person who will take me seriously and who I can be in a long term relationship with. How do I find love if no one seems to be interested in me at all?

Dear Looking for Love,

Mother always says that when it comes to love, money, and air travel, it is all in God’s good time. But what if you are not a believer (God save your soul!) or do not own a watch?

Never wait. I see that you have listed down all your positive qualities, and that’s already half the battle. Why not use those social applications that allow you to jump into the world of dating right from the safety of your bedroom? (I must admit I still do not use them myself but I have come to accept the fact that in this day and age, technology is hopelessly interwoven into the fabric of our society.) Strike up punny and insightful online conversations with total strangers. Let them know that you are teetotaler who does not breathe fire into your lungs, an introvert who cares, an intellect who does her best. Press send now.

I know of a Truly Rich Lady who agonized over inch-long messages for a potential boyfriend that were full of thoughts on museums and books. It took ages, advanced sentence construction, many emoticons, and lots of help from yours truly (I told her to be more direct and to ease up on those smileys), but it was worth it for she now has a snuggle partner.

Men are doofuses. They do not respond to subtle hints, but to bluntness. They need not a nudge, but a push in the right direction, preferably into your welcoming arms.

Never lose hope. Consider this woman named Miranda Kerr, a divorcée with a six-year-old son, who just married a billionaire eight years her junior. I’m sure she used an app!

Lightning round: “Read your report on Rich People Problems. Seems like you didn’t like it. So what books do you recommend?”—Wanna Read

Ooh, books! I would start with Edith Wharton’s Age of Innocence, a most detailed account of life and gossip in the Gilded Age of New York. If you have more time (say three months), there is Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina. I know it is thick as sin, but it’s worth it. I even do re-reads, but only the parts with Anna. Also, Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Remains of the Day and Frances Burnett’s The Secret Garden are excellent if you love big mansions and butlers (like I do). And for the record, I loved all six hours of reading Rich People Problems.

Lightning round: “I feel crappy. What do you suggest?”—Beyond Bored

First, rinse your mouth. Next, have a drink. Also, do your brows. I swear, even if you’ve had the most awful week, a good set of brows will brighten and lift your face. But never do it the way Grandmother does it—with a private nurse who draws in the most dreadfully thin and high arches à la Bette Davis in Baby Jane. Only trust a Japanese-trained specialist who will come to your house to create a flattering set of neutral brows. Cheers!

Lightning round: “I can’t seem to find your Purple Food diet anywhere. Are you pulling my leg?”—Beyond Bored

Coincidentally, Pulling My Leg is an advanced yoga pose that I do to manage my weight: First, I alight from my car and walk a few paces into the space of my spiritual therapist or my favorite sales associate. Then I ask them again if my Legendary Ex will come back to me, and they say, “Yes, of course,” just to shut me up. I have had my leg pulled so many times that I look positively statuesque now. I am finally ready for beach season. I look like a young Cindy Crawford!

Lightning round: “Back in Manila after a decade. What fabulous thing do you suggest I do first?”—Home Coming Queen

Just the same things I do. I think if you’ve been gone for so long when you come over you’d want to change, I guess. Oh, wait. That was someone else’s answer. Manila has become a buzzy scene. To find out where to eat, shop, and have fun, refer to all the new places suggested by this tony portal. But really, I prefer the old comforts like breakfast at the Pen or cocktails at my place. Welcome home.