In stunning news that changes everything forever, it turns out humankind's greatest invention—cheese—could actually be the key to living a long life.
Already essential to any notion of a happy life, new research from Nature Medicine has linked cheese—or specifically a compound found in it called spermidine—with increased lifespan in mice and rats, meaning your habit of grating a fist-sized chunk of Grana Padano onto your pasta or face-bombing half a wheel of camaberet like it's a slice of watermelon might be keeping you around for longer, too.
After testing the theory on the happy rodents those same scientists surveyed 800 Italians—who as we all know love their cheese—and found that those with a higher intake of spermidine had lower blood pressure, a 40% lower risk of heart failure and a reduced risk of other cardiovascular diseases.
There is, of course, one small caveat to this, which is that the fat in cheese could cancel out the effects of spermidine. A better source of the stuff can be found in peas, corn, soy beans and whole grains—all probably safer bets in your bid for eternal life.
But in the spirit of post-fact politics, we're planning to ignore that part and sit watching the world burn with a mature stilton stuffed in one cheek and a robust cheddar in the other. Happy days.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk.
*Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.