The Legend of Vision's Penis, Revealed
There are some things we Marvel nerds think about a lot. Where was Captain Marvel in Endgame? What happened to the multiverse after the Blip? Who made Rocket? Why is Gamora? But the most important unanswered question of all: Does Vision have a penis?
If you haven’t watched WandaVision, you can stop reading here. Beware of spoilers.
Two important characters in Wanda’s therapeutic sitcom world are Billy and Tommy, her sons with Vision. Right off the bat, viewers scratched their heads wondering just exactly how that happened. It’s been a long (celibate) quarantine, but we’re still pretty sure baby-making requires the participation of a certain appendage Vision was created without. Of course, this is Wanda we’re talking about, and she could have very well caused her own immaculate conception, sans divine intervention, and simply wished her kids into existence. After all, she is the strongest Avenger in the MCU (sorry, Thor).
But that still doesn’t answer the question: Does Vision have a penis or not?
Well, according to Paul Bettany, he could have one. In an interview with MTV, the actor played coy and said, “He’s purple. Vision can change his density, so there’s that,” all but confirming Vision has a superpowered appendage tucked away under all that wiring.
In some alternate reality Dr. Strange probably still has nightmares of, Vision does indeed have R-rated hardware. In an interview with Conan O’Brien, Bettany revealed that Age of Ultron director Joss Whedon seriously considered giving Vision genitals. If you remember that scene from Ultron of Vision’s “birth,” you’ll find the hero penis-less, a word I'm determined to only type once in my life. But according to Bettany, Whedon was, for whatever reason, set on getting Vision’s “gears” on the big screen.
After getting their orders from Whedon, Marvel’s artists put together an entire wall of artwork of Vision’s birth—and penis. Suffice to say, an entire wall of a red, angry, mechanic phallus was enough for Joss to say, “Never have I been more sure that I don’t need to see Vision with a penis.”
And the rest was history.
To sum it all up, Vision could have one if you’re into that kinky shit. But one thing is for sure, we dodged a bullet when Whedon opted to keep Vision’s power stone out of Ultron. Age of Ultron, we mean.