The Esquire Guide to Sex: Positions, Tips, and How-To Advice

You're never too old to learn new tricks.
IMAGE Stocksy

Hey, it's okay to ask. Whether you're completely new to sex or looking for innovative ways to spice things up with your partner (or partners), we've put together a collection of the best sex positions, tips, and expert advice, from foreplay to dirty talk to how long you should really last in the bedroom. Take notes and study hard; your better sex life begins now.

1| A (Semi) Scientific Guide to Dirty Talk
It's not just what you say, it's how (and when) you say it. Feedback is important in the during sex. Don't fake it. Be kind. Be open. Be specific. Most of all, respond when prompted.

2| How to Last Longer in Bed
Maintaining control in the bedroom all starts with breathing. Here's a 4-step guide to build stamina and fall into a natural, longer rhythm.

Step 1: Start Breathing
Start with 25 breaths; over time, build to 100 Lie on your back, knees bent and resting against each other, and your feet wide and flat on the ground. Put one hand on your belly and the other on your heart, close your eyes, and relax into deep breaths. As you inhale, your belly hand will rise first, then your heart hand; as you exhale, the reverse.

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Step 2: Start Rocking
Start with 25 breaths; over time, build to 100 Sit on a medium to low block in Hero's Pose: Legs folded comfortably under you at the knees and hands on your hips. As you breathe, begin to rock your pelvis back and forth on: forward on the inhale, backward on the exhale. Gradually, the rocking speed should increase to about one inhale-exhale cycle per second.

Step 3: Change Up the Motion
Do for 25 breaths After rocking back and forth, begin to move in a circular rhythm, orbiting your ribcage over your pelvis as you inhale and exhale. Keep you lower legs and shins and feet pressed against the ground as your rib cage continues to move in a circle.

Step 4: Apply It to the Bedroom
Start with foreplay to loosen your body and build heat. "You can't just stretch a muscle without warming it up, otherwise it will break. You have to bring that same attention to sex," Sawyers says. "There's foreplay, and that's how you begin."


As things with your partner intensify, remember to stay tuned in to your own rhythm and breath, which you established with the previous exercises. With that in mind, you can control the build to orgasm and back away instead of losing control.

3| Stop Worrying About Lasting Longer in Bed
You shouldn't treat every sexual encounter like a damn marathon. (Although it isn't a sprint, either.)

4| The Key to Better Sex Is All in Your Breathing
This might come off as hippy or holistic, but sex is about feeling good, and taking control of your breath is the most direct way to get there. Here are three techniques to master mindful, healing breaths.

5| A Workout Plan for a Better Sex Life
If you feel stressed out, weak, and lethargic in the bedroom, it will show. Here's how to tailor a workout specifically for your sex life.

This story originally appeared on


* Minor edits have been made by the editors.

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