The Things Most People Still Get Wrong About Pansexuality
The thing about pansexuality that makes it such a confusing orientation to most of the general public is that it operates in such a fluid, amorphous space. It sort of has this blatant disregard for conventional notions and labels, which is pretty nice and fitting for the times. For pansexual people, it's about the, err, vibe, if you will.
Pansexuality's exact definition, too, is quite varied, depending on who you ask. The key idea here is "potential for attraction" for everyone in (and out) of the gender spectrum. This makes it open for interpretation and ridicule from those on the outside looking in. Pan-phobic assumptions still run wild these days and some of them are understandable. Others, on the other hand, are just downright absurd.
But maybe we do have to exercise some grace because, after all, pansexuality only became widely accepted in the 2010s (especially if we look at the uptick for the term in Google search results). Anyway, here are some of the most common misconceptions about it.
Pansexuality Doesn't Mean Attraction to Everyone
"Oh, so you're attracted to A, B, C, D, E, F, G...?"
God, no. While pansexual people can develop feelings of attraction toward cisgender, transgender, agender, and gender-nonconforming individuals, they aren't necessarily attracted to everyone all the damn time.
Bisexuality Vs. Pansexuality
It's easy to conflate these two things because the orientations are mostly the same somehow. The key difference is pretty basic: bisexuality refers to people attracted to more than one gender while pansexuality refers to those who develop these feelings regardless of gender. The former isn't gender-neutral while the latter is. Both, nevertheless, are subsets of polysexuality. This brings us to our next misconception...
Are Pansexuals Panromantic? Polysexual, Too?
Okay, pansexuality and bisexuality are both subsets of polysexuality. And people have this tendency to use polysexual and pansexual interchangeably. What we should know about polysexuality is that it's a sort of umbrella term where pansexuality, omnisexuality, and bisexuality all fall under.
Meanwhile, panromantic is used when we refer to someone who is romantically attracted to individuals of all gender identities. Pansexual, you guessed it, talks specifically of sexual attraction. We have to remember that we can have sexual experiences with people without wanting to date them and vice versa. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two different ballparks.
Sidebar: Polyamory, on the other hand, is more about the classification of the relationship. Polysexual and pansexual people can still be in a monogamous relationship if they please.
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No, Nothing Directly Causes Pansexuality
The pansexual flag.
A sociology or gender and sexuality studies class can do everyone some good.
Listen, nothing causes pansexuality the same way nothing causes heterosexuality. Any assumptions about someone's memory, personal history, trauma, and upbringing, and how these can change our identifiers is a load of baloney.
Do I Look Pansexual?
There is no such thing as a pansexual style, okay? There isn't some magic formula to looking or feeling pansexual. Please do not think of it as a trophy characteristic you want to flaunt to people. People are free to dress and carry themselves a certain way.
Am I Pansexual?
Obviously, this isn't for some stupid website or blog post to decide. It's best that you sit with yourself on this one. There are, however, some questions you can ask in your spare time to sort of examine whether or not you are pansexual.
- Have you ever been attracted to people without considering their genders?
- Is gender that big of a deal in terms of assessing your romantic or sexual feelings?
- Who have I dated in the past?
- Are there commonalities between them and my preferences?
- How does it make you feel to be identified as such?
Remember, too, that we're allowed to change the way we describe ourselves throughout our lives. And that means the language, labels, and other terminologies we use will likely evolve, as well.
