Michael Cera Shows You How Not To Do Facial Hair ...Again

From helming a frozen banana stand in Arrested Development to belting out an impromptu rendition of "These Eyes" to a room full of coked-up party goers in Superbad, Michael Cera has proved time and time again that he’s a man of many talents. Sadly, though, growing passable facial hair is not one of them.
The actor’s meme-baiting moustache was back in full force (well, if you can call it that) as he visited Broadway recently. Only this time it wasn’t alone.
Despite having beefed up slightly since Cera’s infamous red beanie years, the ill-famed ‘stache was this time flanked by wispy goatee and patchy lamb-chop sideburns. Two additions that certainly weren’t doing it any favors.
The solution is simple, though. Patchy facial hair is a problem that affects countless men, but the trick is to keep things short and sweet.
Avoid the prepubescent bumfluff look by trimming fuzz down to a short stubble. Areas that see thicker growth, such as above the lip or on the chin can be kept slightly longer without looking sparse.
If that’s still not doing it, the only option is to go nuclear and employ the razor. Because a clean-shaven face will always—always—be a better option than one dusted with a smattering of straggly, pubic-looking hairs.
This story originally appeared on Esquire.co.uk. Minor edits have been made by the Esquiremag.ph editors.