9 Holiday Films for Those Not in the Mood for Christmas
The holidays can suck, whether it's the traffic, countless gatherings, food comas, overbearing relatives, or the sheer pressure of buying the perfect present for someone you don't even really care about.
Never mind all of that and sit back because here’s a list of movies that understand you. They're not determined turn your heart three sizes bigger either.
In Bruges (2008)
"It's a fucking fairytale!" At least that's what mob boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes) tells hit men Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson), the former guilt-stricken after a job gone wrong. Bruges, Belgium is a quaint town for holiday tourists to gawk at its medieval sites, but Ray prefers getting drunk with a midget (er, dwarf) and a pretty French drug dealer (Clemence Poesy). Some critics say this dark comedy is a metaphor for purgatory, which is probably the best way to describe the Yuletide season.
Christmas is the time for love! This thoughtfully crafted film has Cate Blanchett as yet another rich New Yorker in spectacular fur coats and an unhappy marriage. Carol Aird (Blanchett) begins an affair with Therese Belivet (Rooney Mara), a young and shy department store clerk. Based on the acclaimed novel, The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith, Carol is a gorgeous drama which, fortunately, doesn't end with everyone drinking hot chocolate in ugly sweaters.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
Celebrate the season with a comedic murder mystery! Pre-Iron Man Robert Downey, Jr. plays Harry, a thief who ends up posing as an actor in Hollywood. For his role, Harry has to shadow private eye Gay Perry (yes, really) portrayed by Val Kilmer. Along with aspiring actress Harmony (Michelle Monaghan), the three try to crack the murder case as the bodies pile up.
Rare Exports (2010)
The real Santa Claus has been discovered, but he's not the pink-cheeked, jolly man we know from Coca-Cola ads. This Finnish film is a twisted take on the beloved holiday figure. Local kids go missing and Santa's elves are fearless imps who will stop at nothing to free their leader from human captivity. How else are we gonna get our gifts this year?!
The Children (2008)
Here's something for people who don't like the holidays and children! A family goes on what's supposed to be a relaxing retreat in the snowy countryside, but the kids catch a virus turning them into bloodthirsty murderers. You should've just stayed home and bought them that Playstation, mom.
Die Hard (1988)
At one point in your adult life, someone has obnoxiously told you this is their favorite Christmas movie and with good reason. Forget the Grinch, he's got nothing on the real party-pooper, Geman terrorist Hans Gruber.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Christmas can be a disaster and no one knows it better than Pumpkin King Jack Skellington.
If you want to cry about unrequited love, but not lose "cool points," there's Wong Kar-wai's sci-fi drama, 2046. It's like a super depressing Love, Actually. Set in the future!
Home Alone (1990)
Classic. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!