The first time I meet Xian Lim, he’s chilling inside a lounge at the Acea Beach Resort in Subic, Zambales. It’s not common for shoot subjects to arrive at the location first and wait for everyone else to get there, but Lim and his small entourage—just a driver, a PR manager, and a rep from management agency Viva—get to relax for about 20 minutes before the rest of the team make their appearance.
Lim looks exactly as he does in photos and on TV: thick dark hair, some of which fall down his alert, anime-like eyes; the edges of his mouth creasing when he smiles, which he does when we make our introductions. He cracks jokes at the expense of Peps, the grooming person, but that just means they know each other well and seem to be quite close.
Xian wears a Striped Cotton Lacoste Badge Crew Neck Sweater (Lacoste Greenbelt 5); Lacoste Sport x Daniil Medvedev Sportsuit Shorts (Lacoste Greenbelt 5)
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Dookie Ducay
We all traveled a couple of hours out of Manila for this special shoot, but Lim himself says he’s a regular at Subic, making the trip often in his motorcycle, sometimes with his bike buddies. He says he would’ve wanted to ride his big bike on this trip, but the blazing heat and the fact that he was with companions made him reconsider.
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Ten minutes into chatting with Lim and his team, and I feel at ease. Shooting with celebrities is always a crapshoot. You never quite know if they’re going to give you their I’m-here-because-I-have-to-be persona, or if they’ll allow a glimpse into who they really are as a person. Often it depends on random things like how they woke up that day, whether they’re dealing with personal issues, or if they just haven’t had their morning coffee yet. But Lim seems to be naturally open and gregarious; there’s no hint of tension or awkwardness, and, if anything, he’s making a genuine effort to get to know everyone involved in the shoot. By the time we retreat into the restaurant for lunch, we’re chatting about his bike-riding hobby, he’s calling the stylists ‘Mamsht,’ and he’s still ribbing Peps, who’s just taking it all in stride.
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I knew then it was going to be a breezy, unproblematic day.
PHOTO: Dookie Ducay
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One-half of KimXi
Xian Lim’s reputation precedes him. Before I even meet the guy, I’ve read tons of things about him—how he grew up in the United States and moved to Manila to play basketball and hopefully pursue a career as a pro-ball player; how his ambitions took a detour after discovering he had the right look to become a model and artista; and how he eventually leaned into a career in entertainment and star in a string of movies and TV shows.
These days, however, when you search his name on social media, what comes up might not be about his most recent film or TV project as an actor, or even his upcoming film project as writer and director. It’s invariably tied to another name, and one that he’s been involved with for the last 12 years. Lim was one half of ‘KimXi,’ a coupling with actress Kim Chiu that initially existed in celluloid fantasies but soon crossed over into real life.
Linen and cotton shirt by (Zegna Greenbelt 3) and Off-White Linen Joggers (Zegna Greenbelt 3)
To put things into perspective, when Lim and Chiu first got together as a bona fide love team in the teleserye My Binondo Girl in 2011, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 had just been released, then-Majority Floor Leader Juan Miguel Zubiri resigned from the Senate, and typhoons Pedring and Sendong wreaked havoc on the country. The pairing worked and so followed multiple projects together that scored favorably with audiences at the box office—Bakit Di Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?, Bride for Rent, Past Tense, Must Date the Playboy, and The Story of Us, and a few others.
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On social media, fans pounced on the occasional posts about what the two were up to—trips to snowy locales, rollercoaster rides, dinner dates. Lim and Chiu gave their fans years of these types of “kilig” hints without actually confirming the relationship—until it finally came in 2018 during a televised interview.
In this country where fans are often as invested in their idols’ romantic attachments as much as (or sometimes even more than) the celebrities themselves are, one could understand how and why Lim and Chiu—KimXi—tried to keep their relationship to themselves. Often the spectators are two steps ahead—you say you’re starting to get to know each other, and fans say you’re committed. You confirm you’re together, and the fans say you’re getting married. You announce a marriage date and fans are positive she’s pregnant. You say you’re having relationship issues, and the fans have you already broken up with evidence of cheating on one or both sides. Showbiz can get objectively dizzying when you really start getting into it.
In KimXi’s case, the two enjoyed a relatively benign, generally unproblematic 12 years together. Until it all came to an end last year.
PHOTO: Dookie Ducay
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The break-up
2023 will perhaps best be remembered as the year of the Great Showbiz Love Team Undoing. Besides KimXi, notable break-ups that happened last year include Kathryn Bernardo and Daniel Padilla (Kathniel), Ricci Rivero and Andrea Brillantes, and Richard Gutierrez and Sarah Lahbati.
Lim and Chiu officially broke up in November 2023, although they announced their conscious uncoupling (to borrow Gwyneth Patrow’s verbiage) two months later in December after a dozen years together. Both posted touching tributes to each other on their respective Instagram pages, and while they were unequivocal in their statements that they had, indeed, broken up, both declined to mention the exact reason for the separation.
Textured Crochet Shirt (Zara) and cotton-linen trousers (Zara)
As expected, rumors flew thick and fast immediately after the announcement. Fans devoted and casual chose to have their say and contribute to the narrative about a relationship they only glimpsed through polished, curated posts on social media and therefore knew next to nothing about. And while there were pleas for civility and respect on both sides, the most uncouth and insensitive among us couldn’t resist throwing shade and hurling insults at the party we felt was most at fault for the break-up.
Apart from the IG post, Lim chose to remain silent about what happened. Instead, he rolled up his sleeves and hunkered down to work. He starred in the intriguing series Love. Die. Repeat. with Jennylyn Mercado on his home network of GMA. He showed off his art via a solo exhibit at Art Cube Gallery and continued to engage in his pursuits outside of showbiz—riding bikes, working out, and playing basketball.
But it seems that, no matter how much one tries to drown out the noise that distracts from the most essential things in life, sometimes it gets too loud that you eventually have to uncover your ears and see about tuning it out yourself.
When I ask Lim if he’s finally ready to talk about the break-up four months after the fact, the answer is steady and definite.
“Yes, I am ready to talk about it,” he says. “It's just all over the place and I think, ang dami nang dagdag, ang dami nang bawas. Naglabas naman kami ng statement to clarify things. Of course, we have so much respect for our supporters. And yung na-build namin over the course of 12 years.
"But things in life happen,” he adds. “The unexpected happens and we broke up. It just pains me na maraming hearsay, maraming dagdag-bawas sa kwento.”
I ask him to settle the issue once and for all about the reason for the break-up, but, like Chiu, he chooses to keep that information private.
“No one will truly know what is going on in a relationship,” he says. “Kaming dalawa lang makakapagsabi. And that is why it was our conscious effort to release that statement, and let's just leave it at that. It was a mutual understanding between me and (her) and that we're going our separate ways. Hindi na kailangan pang magsabi kung sino'ng nagkulang.
“Because it was a beautiful relationship, it was a beautiful 12 years,” he adds. “And we worked it out. That's why it lasted that long.”
Lim also takes this opportunity to clear the air about his current relationship, something that has been speculated about ever since the announcement of the split. It specifically concerns Iris Lee, a Filipino-Chinese senior associate producer who works at Viva.
“Yes, I’m seeing Iris,” Lim says. “Just to clear everything, to clear all the speculations. We are seeing each other and we are very happy.
Lim was quick to note that he and Lee started dating only after he broke up with Chiu.
“Una sa lahat, Iris is a talented filmmaker,” he says. “She's my producer and she's also my creative partner.”
Lim then starts to address the rumors that have swirled around him since December last year.
“These are the things that I want to clarify,” he says. “Number one: that there was a third party (involved in the break-up with Chiu). There's no third party. That's it. That plain and simple.
“Another rumor: when I see my friends—the people who are the last to even care about these things—kino-congratulate na ko. They say, ‘Congratulations on the marriage in New York!’ And I'm like, no, I am not married.
“And there's also this one absurd article, or a thing said about me, that I have been living with someone for years na daw,” he says rolling his eyes. “The only people I live with is my mom, my lola, my lolo. These are the things na, parang, it's just so absurd and it's just…why?!
“Things happen in life that we're not going to be able to control. And as much as we don't want it to happen, life happens. And it just pains me na parang may mga taong nadamay. That just really saddens me and that's very unfortunate.
“Ang busy-busy ni Iris, ang busy-busy ko. She has a lot on her plate, and I have a lot on my plate. And, you know, she doesn't deserve all that flak. We don't deserve that because all the things na people are saying, there's no truth to any of it.”
PHOTO: Dookie Ducay
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Xian Lim on love
Having gone through a 12-year relationship, not to mention starring in countless romance series and films, I thought I’d ask Lim about love and relationships in general. I ask for his thoughts on the so-called taxicab theory, or the thinking that love has nothing to do with commitment and is really just all about timing.
“I can’t say that I understand the whole taxicab thing properly,” he says. “But all I can say is, as a guy, when I’m seeing someone, I'm all out. I'm not the type to fish around, yung parang, ‘Okay, tingnan natin kung okay ‘to.’
“Of course, there's that initial thinking na parang, ‘Swak ba tayo?’,” he adds. “But me, I'm all out na parang this is for the long-term. We are going to work through this hanggang sa dulo. That's my vision, that's my perception on finding a partner, about finding love in general. So that taxicab theory, parang hindi ko lang siya masakyan. But that's just me, that's how I love. Kung magmahal ako, lubos, buong kaluluwa.”
In a separate interview, Lim also dug deep and said more things about love.
“Love is very painful and it's also a very magical feeling,” he said to talk show host Boy Abunda. “But at a certain point, love disappears and I think doon na magiging choice ang pagmamahalan nyo, if you choose to stay together and fight for each other, no matter what it is."
I ask if this is a general sentiment about love or if it’s directed specifically at or for someone.
“It's my general view and it's how I see love,” Lim says. “Of course, when you find someone, ang unang stages niyan is the infatuation phase. But what happens when the infatuation phase is gone? That's when love becomes a choice. And you to decide na you will fight through it till the end.
“So I think that's just my general perception, that's not directed towards anyone.”
Finally, I ask if there’s a core belief that Lim adheres to that has been challenged or reinforced, especially with what he’s gone through over the last few months. The answer, unsurprisingly enough, is something he learned from his own mother.
“I’m a Mama’s boy,” he begins. “I live with my mom and my grandmother. And I would always have these conversations with them. Naglalabas ako ng mga feelings sa kanila, because I'm an only child, and wala naman akong kapatid to say these things to.
“So when I fall down, and I don’t know what to do, my mom always tells me to always be strong. ‘You have to know your worth,’ she tells me. ‘And just never stop trying and never stop believing.’ And I just go by that.
“Because there's always going to be those outside forces that's going to try to bring you down. But if you have a stable group of friends, a family who's there to support you and who knows who you truly are, that's all that matters.”
PHOTO: Dookie Ducay
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The shy kid grows up
During downtimes throughout the shoot, Lim engages in playful banter not just with his core team, but with nearly everyone else he comes into contact with. He acknowledges the waiters and resort staff helping out with sundry requirements; he says hello and graciously stops for photos with guests at the resort who happen to notice him walking by; and he chats with the video team on the yacht about riding bikes during the short trip back to shore. Clearly, the 34-year-old is a pro at dealing with people at this point, but he also seems to have shed the shyness that he claims to have been afflicted with all those years ago before the showbiz bug hit.
“I always tell this story, but when I was a kid, I wasn't a bibo kid,” he says. “Hindi ako yung parang sa party, where everyone would go, ‘O sayaw ka,’ or, ‘Pakitang-gilas ka, pakita mo yung mga talent mo.’ I was always that shy kid in the corner. I really didn't expect na I would be in the limelight.
“The main dream was to become a basketball player,” he adds. “Pero dinala ako ng tadhana sa ibang lugar. It brought me to showbusiness, which is such a magical thing. It's magical because it's out of my comfort zone. I found it nung binigyan ako ng mga acting workshops. I found my love in acting.”
Loose Fit Zip Neck Pique? Jogger Sweatshirt (Lacoste Greenbelt 5), 5-Inch Relaxed Fit Twill Rugby Shorts (Polo Ralph Lauren Greenbelt 5)
But Lim isn’t one to step into the spotlight, say his lines and call it a day. Not anymore, at least. At this point in his career, he’s ready to take his craft to the next level, and that means making moves that will take him from being in front of the camera to working behind it. He’s already dipped his toes in production work, as writer and director, for the 2023 film Hello Universe, and this year he’s ready to explore that path further. A week after our shoot, he says he’s heading to Thailand to shoot his second feature, a horror film entitled Kuman Thong. He tells me about the premise and it’s intriguing, to say the least.
“I would really want to direct and star in my own film, maybe not now, but in the future,” he says. “I think it takes a certain level of skill and trust sa sarili for someone to do something like that. That in itself is a very challenging task and not a lot of people get to pull one off. Like a Clint Eastwood, parang ganon.”
Lim is celebrating his 15th anniversary in showbusiness this year, and with everything going on in his life now, it seems apt that he finds himself out at sea, with the last vestiges of the day’s sun hitting his face as he simultaneously looks back at the paths he’s trekked so far and looks forward to all the mountains he has yet to summit.
“This is where I will die,” he says, not exactly about where he’s physically at right now, but his place in showbiz that he’s carved for himself over the years. “I will die doing this.”
What about the extras, I ask; the rumors and the ridicule, the judgments and the lies, and all the other stuff he has to deal with, which, if veterans in the industry are to be believed, are all part of what he signed up for when he decided to pursue what he himself calls the “magical” thing called showbiz. How does he reconcile all the parts he loves about being in this business with all the things he despises?
“If there's anything I want to say that’s truly from the heart, it’s this,” he says. “I work really hard. I have dedicated my life to live truthfully. To become a better person every single day. Better than I was yesterday. I don't want my life or the things that I'm going to do in the future to be defined just because of what happened with my previous relationship and the breakup.
“That shouldn't be the case because I work hard,” he insists. “I don't want it.”
Produced by Paul John Caña
Photography by Dookie Ducay
Styling by Rei Buesing and Rush Romano
Grooming by Peps Silvestre
Shot on location at Acea Subic Beach Resort and onboard Boat Wawa at Subic Bay
Special Thanks to Dynki Narisma (Acea Beach Resort), Ralph Lim Joseph (Boat Wawa), May Delos Santos (Jetour)
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