What Happens When the Truly Rich Lady Goes on an All-Female Road Trip?

We all need a break from the hamster wheel that is life. After all, there are only so many rooms the Truly Rich Lady can redecorate before she goes absolutely crazy. And so when a group of Truly Rich Friends from long ago broached the idea of a road trip to the Truly Rich Lady, I said yes! We did not travel by road, of course.

Day One

5:15 a.m.

I have not slept! We are going on a girls-only road trip! But it is not a road trip because the preferred mode of travel of Truly Rich People is not by road but by sky.

Sidebar: If the family still had the Cookoo, our helicopter, I would travel exclusively around the city in it, but because being environmentally responsible is now the burden of the very rich, we gave it up in exchange for a fleet of giant SUVs.

Anyway, I am packing or Manang is packing. It is totally unlike me to not have finished packing before the day of our departure, but I stayed up all night re-watching a guilty pleasure, Sex and the City 2.

Lizzie’s SUV will pull up in 30 minutes and we’ll soon be on the Skylark, her father’s Bombardier Challenger 350, and on our way to an unnamed destination where we can let loose and not wear bras indoors.

2:00 p.m.

We’ve been circling the sky for 24 minutes now because there is only one landing strip on the private airport and too many private planes.

My girlfriends are coping with the delay in different ways. Deepa is minding the grazing spread of cheese, hams, preserved fruits, and nuts. Vivi is snoring soundly in her full-size bed. I am watching Netflix on my tablet.

And Lizzie, heiress, society star, and owner of the jet, is screaming in the direction of the pilot’s cabin: “If some New Money Family lands before we do, I swear I am going to ground this plane and turn it into a novelty restaurant in Manila!”

“She has had too many cups of coffee,” I whisper to the flight attendant. “I am so sorry.” But actually, I am not. We should have landed an hour ago.

Day Two

10 a.m.

Did I tell you that I am with my gang from grade school? We are on this trip because sweet Deepa is finally getting married. We are not close anymore but we can’t also refuse the celebration of true love, especially when she just narrowly escaped an arranged marriage to a horrible man, a mere millionaire!

I am heading to brunch, which has been set up on a sandbar that only appears a few hours in the morning. The staff of the resort has done a wonderful job though I have a few notes. Great: They arranged for turtle eggs to hatch as we arrive. Not so great: On the menu were tiny eggs. While I am sure they were quail, it was still distressing.

2:30 p.m.

Vivi scheduled a free diving lesson for the entire group. I pass because I want to live. Deepa arranged for the cast of Cats to stage a private show later in the day. This one I like, but now “Memory” is stuck in my head. Annoying.

Day Four

8:14 a.m.

Do you know how good it feels to wake up naturally and not by the shrill screaming of your phone or the shaking of your human alarm clock, your Manang. Anyway, it is going to be a good day!

3:35 p.m.

So Lizzie had a craving for the shrimp pasta of a chain restaurant, and so naturally, that plate of average shrimp pasta was flown first class on the first available commercial flight, picked up by a handler at the airport, and then carefully spirited to the resort by private boat. And now it is here in Lizzie’s cabana, where we are all gathered because it is wine o’clock.

She had two bites.

12:01 a.m.
Oh my god. I looove fireworks. It reminds me of my girlhood when life was so much simpler. My Truly Rich Parents always took us to Disneyland at the end of every school year and the highlight of the trip was the amazing fireworks over at Sleeping Beauty’s castle. I cry all the time. I am crying right now. Lizzi, Deepa, Vivi, and I are all barefoot on the sand, hugging each other while looking at the pretty sky. We are also all very drunk.

Day Eight

11 a.m.

We got bored. And so our road trip has led us to a posh mountain resort. Getting there was hard. A private plane and then a heli. Anyway, we’re now on the slopes, and it so weird because we have tans, but are in the snow!

11:30 a.m.

And of course, we don’t have proper clothes so the first stop after settling in our suites is the shops in order to buy a complete winter wardrobe, including ski things. Lizzie and Vivi are experts in the sport, but Deepa and I are not. All of us enjoy apres ski and the fashion though, and so we are at Chanel.

2:10 p.m

Vivi fell on her butt on the slopes and a young and handsome CEO comes to her rescue. Sparks fly. I purposely fall on my bottom, too, but no one comes. Where is my knight in shining armor?

Day Ten

2:10 p.m

We have been invited by the young and handsome CEO to his private yacht. It is all very sudden, but he is very young and handsome and so we are going. Actually, Vivi said yes. She is so lonely. Anyway, the warm sun is on our faces again and thankfully, beach clothes are also boat clothes, so no impromptu shopping… yet.

9:20 p.m. We are so lame. The night has just begun but we are already sloshed. You see, there is absolutely nothing to do on a yacht but lay on the deck, eat, drink, swim in the ocean, drink some more, eat, and then drink again.

10:30 p.m. The girls and I decide to head to the safety of Lizzie’s cabin and, against our better judgment, drink some more! Now, there is only one thing that happens when you drink with the girls inside a room of a yacht in the middle of the ocean: in vino veritas.

The very strong barriers that we’ve put up have melted away by the power of alcohol. Lizzie confides that she was passed over as the CEO of her family’s multi-billion company. Vivi says she is so bored with her life that she started an affair with a millionaire. And Deepa reveals that, despite the love she feels for her fiancé, she is really fluid.

And then they all look at me expectantly. “Uhm, I have really bad breath in the morning!” I say. We all cry. I am so glad to have gone on this trip!