Ghosting Is For Cowards

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If you feel attacked by that headline, then you know you’re guilty of ghosting, joining the ranks of millions of millennials and Gen Zs who’ve made ghosting a cultural dating norm.

What do the experts have to say about that? Well, Dr. Margie Holmes, leading sex therapist, is here to lay down the hard facts:

“Ghosting is a very unkind, cowardly thing to do.”


In the latest episode of Esquire PhilippinesLonely Hearts podcast, Dr. Holmes tackles the lousy act (and sometimes habit) of ghosting with Esquire’s editor at large and podcast host Sarge Lacuesta.

“Maybe they can't be bothered, but just say they listen, whatever,” says Holmes.

To Holmes, ghosting is just another type of “unkindness,” which has existed throughout history, since humans starting forming relationships. It’s just taken a new form in this Bumble-dating world.

“Sexuality hasn't really changed, you see? Some people are unkind. There’ve been unkind people through the ages. It’s just that now, they're unkind by ghosting. Before, they were unkind by, I don’t know, avoiding your calls,” notes Holmes.

“Cruel” is a simple way of summarizing this supposed “cavalier” act. “Cowardly” is another way to put it, as Holmes notes that “you don’t have to lie” or even ghost to break things off. You can just be, well, an adult.

Feeling attacked?

To listen to more sex and relationship real talk from Dr. Margie Holmes, catch the latest episode of Esquire PhilippinesLonely Hearts podcast, hosted by Sarge Lacuesta, on SpotifyApple PodcastsAnchor, and wherever you get your podcasts.

About The Author
Anri Ichimura
Section Editor, Esquire Philippines
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